Prodigal Daughter
“And the Pharisees and scribes murmured, saying, This man receiveth sinners and eateth with them.” | Luke 15:2, KJV
I’m grateful that Jesus received and still receives me. I am grateful that Jesus encourages me to eat when I don’t feel like eating. In the past, when I read or listened to the story of the prodigal son, my impression was that it relayed the story of the unbeliever who had no idea that he/she is actually a member of God’s family. Since my excursion outside the bounds of the familial household, I have come to realize that “The Prodigal Son” story relates to believers who lose sight of their identity and inheritance while in the Father’s house.
I received Christ as my Lord and Savior toward the end of my senior year of high school. My heart’s desire changed from a self-centered point of view to a Christ-centered one: I really just loved people and I wanted the Lord to be pleased with my life. In my search to know Christ better, I began reading the Bible and likewise began to understand some things. As I read, I became increasingly aware of my shortcomings and prayed for transformation in those areas. Though uncomfortable, this tension was fruitful because my heart was set on loving Christ. However, the more I began to serve in Christian leadership, the more my shortcomings overwhelmed me. As a leader, I began to unknowingly mix my love for God with a self-serving attitude, including, but not limited to, performing “good” deeds begrudgingly (as a leader I felt I couldn’t say ‘no,’ so I performed good deeds because I thought it was expected of me, but love was the missing ingredient in my actions). Also lying beneath a considerable portion of my actions was a desire to be recognized by my peers. That, combined with habits that were more difficult for me to renew my mind from, left me feeling defeated and used while living as a Christian. I didn’t understand why my Christian life seemed so colored with defeat when I was supposed to have victory.
“How can you be a Christian and do this? How can you be a Christian and say that?” These would be the thoughts that unraveled in my mind about myself. I was also convinced that other people thought similarly of me when I confessed my shortcomings to them. Eventually, I stopped confessing. When people asked how my walk (with the Lord) was going, I simply adopted generic Christian responses to avoid getting too deep with people I didn’t trust. Likewise, confounding thoughts would consume me about my brothers and sisters in the body of Christ. How they could treat me a certain way and why they seemed to get away with things I felt I would be smited by God for, or shunned by man for, left me grappling with the thought, “is God good?” I didn’t think so. I was afraid of Him and my love was souring. I felt embittered toward God and man.
I couldn’t see. I couldn’t see Jesus or Father God rightly because of my deep-seated bitterness and fear—and that terrified me. As hard as I fought my feelings, the thoughts remained. I could not make myself see clearly. Before I became conscious of what was brewing in my heart, I heard the Lord tell me in worship to resign from all leadership positions in my Christian fellowships. I did not understand. The thought of me resigning from those positions made no sense to me. I thought that because I had intentional worship time and read my Bible twice a day, that my relationship with God was in good shape—that I was fine. However, I couldn’t shake that it was the Holy Spirit speaking to me. I left all but one fellowship because the fear of missing out (FOMO) was so strong in me. My FOMO almost kept me holding on to the things and people I needed to let go of in order to see and hear my Heavenly Father clearly.
It was now my senior year of college and I was no longer tethered to my leadership positions. I refused accountability because I felt abused by the people I had served with and wanted nothing to do with them or Christians in general. I downright ignored people’s text messages and phone calls. I did not want to be bothered living in a community of people who were constantly rubbing me the wrong way. “I was the victim and now I am free!” At least, that’s what I thought.
“And when he had spent all, there arose a mighty famine in that land; and he began to be in want.” | Luke 15:14, KJV
Really, I was in bondage. I couldn’t see my captivity because it was hidden from me in the guise of my victim mentality. During my final fall semester, I dabbled in my newfound “freedom.” I chose selfishness outright because it was time for me to focus on me and what I like to do. I was involved socially and finally doing better academically. My theme song for the year probably would have been “Can’t Tell Me Nothin,’” word to Kanye. Outwardly, I seemed to have moved on, but inwardly I was as stuck as I was before. My heart was aching, and life seemed so lackluster. Life, and living according to my own desires, did not taste as sweet and as fresh as I had imagined, but instead tasted bitter and stale. I knew God was the missing link, but I couldn’t figure out how to make the next move. I was stuck.
With the beginning of the spring semester, I was only beginning to see how deep the pit of despair had become. It was now apparent to me that I was on my last leg. I began making appearances at parties and drinking to forget my worries. Holy Spirit would gently say, “you don’t belong here,” and in response I would drink a little more to drown out His words. Every morning was a struggle to get out of bed, and every night was a struggle to fall asleep. Attacked with thoughts of deep sadness and anxiety, I just felt defeated, but had to keep on a straight face because—crazily enough—people were still coming to me for prayer and encouragement. I didn’t understand it and wanted to deter people from doing that because I was ashamed of how far I had visibly fallen. I think through those times God was affirming me, saying that I was still His child, despite me feeling orphaned.
“And when he came to himself, he said, How many hired servants of my father’s have bread enough and to spare, and I perish with hunger! I will arise and go to my father, and will say, Father, I have sinned against heaven and before thee. And am no longer worthy to be called thy son: make me as one of thy hired servants.” Luke 15: 17-19, KJV
It was time to graduate and get to work. After graduation I began working in New York City. In this new environment, I purposed in my heart not to forsake fellowship with my brothers and sisters. Attending church and small group regularly encouraged my own repentance and desire to be honest with the Lord. I was surrounded by people who loved me back into the arms of Jesus. In retrospect, the Father loved me back into the family. By December, I was floored by the miracle Christ had done within me. A year ago, I was angry with God and His people. I did not want to be around either. A year later, my heart sees God as who he says He is, “a good Father,” and my fellow believers as my brothers and sisters. Though my family is not perfect, it’s truly okay because: (a.) neither am I; and (b.) the places where they are both strong and weak will encourage my perfecting to be more like Jesus, which is the goal. It’s miraculous, but only God could have transformed my perspective the way He has. I firmly believe that for me, it had to happen this way. If not, I probably would have been too prideful to see that God is truly who He says He is, and that He alone gives the increase.
Truly, everyone’s relationship and process with God occurs differently. There is no use comparing or criticizing. I implore those who read this to pray for people you don’t understand, especially if they profess to be saved. Pray for them sincerely because they could very well be in grave need of compassion. For those in a dark place like I was, or enjoying worldly delights that leave you feeling exhausted and anxious, I pray that you will see Abba rightly. His love for you makes Him sensitive to your faint desire for Him, even when you are far from Him. Compassion motivates Him to run towards you, to embrace you with His tender-loving kindness and mercy, even if you strongly believe you don’t deserve it (Luke 15:20-24). It’s okay, His love is actually for the undeserving.
Forgive me, I forgot to introduce myself: Hi, my name is Katrina, and I am the prodigal son…or rather, the prodigal daughter.
![True Life: I didn't wake up like this [The story before the glory]](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/54a8ad21e4b0970e0f17e95e/1458530765987-MU6NSV2IF1WIBGDN75J5/The+Story%281%29.png)
A Testimony of His Grace
By: Samuel Akinribade
One of the best feelings in the world is when your hard work pays off. Think about it – remember when you practiced so many times to tie your shoe, and you finally got it? Or when you pulled an all-nighter to study for a test that you got an A on? Ahh, that feeling of achievement when hard work finally pays off. I wish I could link that feeling to the testimony of me graduating from college in three and half years. Actually, I do not wish that. My testimony of my college experience is one that could not have happened without the intervention of a good good Father. I was someone that went from graduating high school with a 2.3 grade point average to graduating college with honors. This cannot be easily mistaken for MY hard work. So, if you are expecting to hear the story of me working really hard until I finally got to see my hard work pay off, sorry, this is not the article to read. This is a documentation of what the Lord did for me. And oh, no I will not just sit here and over-spiritualize my testimony and say it was faith, faith, faith, but it also took corresponding action for me to see my goals become reality.
My passion to excel in academics was sparked in my junior year in high school. I remember it like it was yesterday –- year 2011. I had the strong desire to succeed in academics because I wanted to attend my dream university – University of Maryland. Yes, that was a dream of mine that was placed on hold because of the commodity of the academic world, that dreadful grade point average. By the time I was enlightened about the importance of getting a great GPA, it was a little too late to get the GPA I desperately wanted. So, I graduated high school with a low GPA and ended up attending a school that I never considered. Seeing the reaction of my parents, after telling them my decision to enroll at the magnificent UMES, I knew I had to devise a game plan. And yes, I love my UMES – Hawk PRIDE!!! Back to the story. My parents urged me to come up with a two year game plan which prioritized on me transferring to my dream school. I came up with the game plan and had it all figured out. I was well on my way to going to my dream school after all.
“Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails”
Psalm 19:21 NIV
I went into my first semester with great expectation and great confidence. I asked the Lord for two simple things: to graduate school early and to never fail/drop a class. A lot of people, to this, day ask me, “why were you in a rush to graduate?” My answer is simply this: I wanted to be in position for God to do something monumental in my life. I did not want to rush the process of school, nor was it because I did not like UMES and wanted to leave as soon as possible, but I had the intentions of graduating early and the Lord answered the desire of my heart. The summer before my actual official semester on the UMES campus, I received some bad advice from my academic advisor. The advice was so bad, it almost caused me to fail a class that I did not need. Praise be to God, I did not fail. Everything worked out for my good. But, man oh man, did I learn a valuable lesson. Even if you get promising advice from somebody, always remember to commit the plan back to God. From there on, I followed my degree audit and continued to press on.
With a 3.5 GPA, after my first year of college, I applied to the honors program and got admitted. Not only was I an honor student, but I was a student that was going to school for free. Yes indeed, they gave me a scholarship. I was very excited for that academic year. Everything was going well, good grades and free schooling, what could beat that? To get a well-paid internship was next on my bucket list. Although I got opportunities to interview at a couple of governmental agencies for accounting, I was turned down by every single one because of my age. Sucks to be young, right? The only internship that considered me, actually denied me because of issues concerning distance. That situation ignited my passion to apply to UMD. I applied and guess what? I got in. Man, was I excited to know I would be in a university where my friends are and I’d be able to work towards my career. After a series of unfortunate events, I was not able to attend UMD. I went back to UMES with great sorrow. Not because of the school, but because I was limited to a school that was 2 hours away.
But the Lord encouraged me through dreams and through people. He wanted to answer my prayer of graduating early and never failing a class. On going back to UMES, I met the manifested plans of the Lord. Things and doors began to open up for me; I got offered an internship from a government agency, I met a campus organization called Bethel Campus Fellowship, where I became a leader, taking my walk to a whole different level, and I was in great shape of graduating early. And I still had my scholarship from the honors program. “It ain’t so bad.” *Rocky Balboa's voice*
“Lord, You are my portion and my cup of blessing; You hold my future. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance.”
Psalm 19:5-6 HCSB
Prior to my senior year, I thought the blessing of God was so great. Little did I know, that was the beginning of more blessings. Fast-forward to my senior year. The Lord favored me in ways and opportunities I couldn’t even imagine. At this point, the Lord gave me a great internship position with the federal government. I was also nominated to participate in a university sales competition. I did not desire to partake in this competition but wanted to honor the director of career services, so I did and God gave me the grace to win. The winner was offered a chance to land a position with a fortune 500 company. God opened opportunities for me to get a full time position at different places. The Lord gave me options. Not only that! The Lord has given me the opportunity to matriculate at the school that I dreamed to attend. Glory to Jesus!! I am in total awe of what God is able to do. I never feared because I knew God was at my right hand. My senior year was a year of rest. God made academics easy for me, He did that so I could focus on doing His will on campus. I am here to declare to you that God is surely able to do that which He said He will do. Because of the promise He has given me through that Psalm, I was able to find the encouragement to keep responding to the faith He has placed inside of me.
“I know that whatever God does, it endures forever; nothing can be added to it nor can anything be taken from it, for God does it so that men will fear and worship Him [with awe-filled reverence, knowing that He is God].”
Ecclesiastes 3:14 AMP
My college experience is summed up into this very verse. God did a thing in my life and in that, no plan of mine nor of my parents, was able to contribute or negate the perfect plan that my Heavenly Father had planned for me. Looking back at all of this gave me a deeper reverence for the Lord. Through my experience I came to learn three things about God: 1) God is more than able to do that which we ask of Him, 2) Despite the situations and hardship that occur, God is a God that keeps to His word, and lastly, 3) if you commit yourself and your plans unto the Lord and trust Him with your whole heart, He will do exceedingly and abundantly more than you could ever plan because He is our hope of Glory. I encourage you to truly commit your plans unto the Lord and stand on the word that He shared or will share with you and just BELIEVE…
Samuel Akinribade is a recent graduate of University of Maryland, Eastern Shore with a Bachelors of Arts in Accounting. In his free time, Sam enjoys playing the guitar and experiencing life with his friends.
I Didn’t Really Get Straight As: How God Changed my Grades
By: Winnie Monu
Permit me to debunk the preconceived notion of that title by stating, yes, I did in fact obtain Straight As – and only by the grace of God.
2015 was not the easiest year for me. March was the “beginning of the end,” as I used to call it, as that was the month everything that was “perfect” in my life was pulled from right underneath my feet. It was one of my darkest moments, as I dealt with who I was, thus being catapulted into God's presence desperate for Him to fix it.
What is it?
Everything.
A broken relationship, freedom from past pain, fear of the future and oh of course, the present – my grades.
So, on March 22, I had enough. After having quiet time with God, I became mad. I know. That’s an oxymoron. A paradox. God is the peaceful safe haven we run to. We give our yoke for His (Matthew 11:28-29). We’re supposed to come to Him upset and leave happy. Well, I came broken and left a soldier. Ever heard of Holy Anger? I had some and I was ready for war. I was sick of crying, and asking God, why me? And the only way I knew how to fight was through prayer.
During my quiet time, I reminded God of every story, I could think of, in the bible of where He had moved in the impossible – Gideon (Judges 6), Daniel’s prayer (Daniel 9:3), Joshua (Joshua 1:9), and Isaiah (Isaiah 45:2)– I ended my winded rant with God and said,
“If You can do it for them, You can do it for me. You promised me that You don’t lie. The moment that happens I’m closing my bible and turning away from Christianity. So fix this.”
Yes, I had an audacious Olivia Pope moment, but God handled things far better than an over-hyped fictional character ever could. And yes, grace is very sufficient as God allowed me to remain alive after speaking to Him with such fervor and tenacity. I plead with you to not use this as an opportunity to speak to God anyhow!
But I did not care. God does say, “Come boldly before my throne;present your case to me and let us reason” (Hebrews 4:16, Isaiah 41:21)And I did. I proceeded to write down everything on my heart that I knew I needed for God to move in. And, unashamedly, the very first point I wrote was “Straight A’s in my academics.”
As a then junior, I knew what my anticipated post-graduation plans were, but my grades didn’t match those dreams. For someone as myself who effortlessly glided through High School with Straight A’s all 4 years, I never saw anything less than a 4.0 on my report card.
For those who know what it means to attend a public Ivy League or a commonly known institute, such as University of Maryland, College Park, you know why we attribute that informal prestige to ourselves. University of Maryland is where many high school scholars, like myself, are humbled within their first semesters as a student. It was in 2012, the year I matriculated to college, that the universities board decided to up the antsy and implement the plus/minus system. What possessed them to do such, till today we Terps may never know. But it happened, and I joined everyone else and studied the way I knew how.
But that was the problem. I didn’t know how to study. So I assumed no physical homework meant one of two things: I chose a great major that had little to no homework or I had more time for sleep. The combination of the two soon resulted in a stark, harsh reality leading to failure, as my first semester grades became the combination of the first three letters of the alphabet. I soon learned the truth behind, “There’s always something to do for a class even if you have no homework – read ahead.”
Backtrack to March 22, 2015: I knew enough was enough. After writing down a few things that I was trusting God for, I put the pen down and got to work. Unfortunately, after that semester I did not get Straight A's, but I did proudly make Dean’s List with a 3.67 gpa.
After I had cleaned my room of all textbooks, I found the same list that I had written earlier in the semester. I quickly skimmed the list and laughed at the eight audacious requests I wrote to God and said, “Well God, maybe it is impossible to get Straight A’s at University of Maryland.” And I put the paper back down.
Some months later, the movie that many Christians, like myself, rushed to watch in anticipation – War Room – stirred a new fire in me. After seeing it with a girlfriend of mine, I went home and heard the Holy Spirit say, “revisit that list you wrote, keep it in plain view, and watch Me move. My timing is not your timing.” So I did. I thumb tacked my list to the wall in my closet and used that as my reminder.
Fall semester began and proved to be one of the hardest semesters of my life, as I believe I was spiritually attacked at so many strategic times. These attacks always seemed to happen right before an exam. There were days, I would be studying and I would be presented with some bad news that shifted my whole mood right before an exam.
Surprisingly, this was also the semester I decided to do more – in everything. For the first time, I led a women’s connect group, remained a research assistant, held office as President of the School of Public Health Dean’s Committee, worked as an resident assistant, all while challenging my sanity to take an 18 credit course load.
Through the hype of all my obligations, I found myself doing the opposite of my responsibilities. There were days I would watch John Gray messages on YouTube rather than write a paper. Nights before an exam, I would prefer to journal in my quiet time and eventually fall asleep! It just seemed like I wanted to do everything else, but schoolwork.
Those who know me closely know I have a very unorthodox way of studying. Please don’t copy me.
Finals came and my confidence level to easily pass one of my classes, Family Law, exam was quickly plateaued once I finished the exam. I left knowing I didn’t do so well. I didn’t study. I relied on my own ability to just wing it and possibly end with an A in the class, but I was greatly mistaken. I indeed failed. I got a 16/33 –( for those who tried to reach for a calculator, it’s a 48%).I had never scored anything that low in my life. I couldn’t even cry; I was numb. My 96% in that class dropped to an 85.3%.
As soon as I was about to accept my grade for what it was, God gently said, “study as hard for every other exam and make this your only B. And after, ask for what you want.” So I did. I put the laziness behind and studied for every other exam as if my life depended on it.
After the first set of exams, I kept feeling edgy, and God repeated the latter part of what he said to me, “Ask for what you want.” I challenged God and said, ‘how? It’s impossible. Final exams are final and my grade is a B, there’s nothing she’s going to do, my professor is a Lawyer! If I email her with anything, she’ll shut me down because lawyers know email threads could get them in trouble.
But God gently reminded me,
“I have already gone ahead of you, ask for what you want.
So I boldly did. I asked myself,“what’s the most she could do? Say ‘no.” I initially requested if I could see my exam grade (hoping that if I stared at it long enough and acted dumbfounded, she would mysteriously do something in my favor) and second, if it was possible to re-do my final exam. Crazy, I know.
She declined the latter. But God! God used my work ethic in her class throughout the semester as leverage. He went above and beyond,reminding her of how well I had done throughout the semester and by His grace, she went ahead and changed my grade to an A-!
I honestly believe that had I not been humbled by this exam grade and listened to the first part of God’s instruction to “study as hard for every other exam and make this [my] only B,” I would have taken my other classes for granted and not studied hard enough.
At the end of finals, I look at my grades and I thank God for achieving straight A’s, but those who know me know I like to push myself and I wasn’t too satisfied. My straight A’s was not a 4.0 as the plus/minus system, for lack of better words, doesn’t let us be great.
But as I was thanking God for my grades and reflecting back, He whispered, “you did not ask me for a 4.0, you asked me for Straight A’s.” Wow!! I started laughing with God because he was so right! My God is a God of humor.
I’ve discovered these lessons through my journey in 2015:
1. In the words of the recent SnapChat sensation, DJ Khaled, “the key to success”…is God.
2. The power of being Specific. I look at my grades and I thank God I did in fact get Straight A’s, but my straight A’s was not a 4.0. Be specific in everything that you ask God for.
3. There is treasure in your darkest moments.
4. Be authentic with God. He already knows what’s on your heart might as well just say it – and write it down!
5. God is still in the business of doing the impossible.
I encourage you, as we begin 2016, to write down everything you are holding onto God for and watch him move.
And at the end may you say, for this reason, _____________________ I put God first.
Winnie Monu attends University of Maryland, College Park, as a Bio-chem & Family Science major. Her hobbies when she's not focused on her new business, TruthbTold, she's exploring new places.
ZONETTA
“If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed.”
John 8:36
Let no other name, but the name of The Lord, alone, be praised, and given the glory!
I don’t know why, but I just been feeling pushed to share this testimony any chance I can get. My name is Zonetta, but I go by Zo and proudly would love to scream that Christ has freed me from 11 years of pornography addiction. 11 years?! Yes my friend, you heard correctly, 11 years. It started in the third grade and glory be to God officially ended at the beginning of my sophomore year of college.
As a child, I was always very curious and eager to learn about new things and it just so happens that there was this sex book in my house that I found one day and I thought the things in the book to be interesting. If that wasn’t bad enough, I also one day saw a DVD in the living room and I popped it in. To my surprise, let’s just say it looked interesting.
As I grew up, I found out more and my interest soon progressed from the little black porn book to late night television porn. You know late nights on HBO, there are always very raunchy uncut movies. With the movie package we had, they were made available to me and I tried to watch them every chance I could get.
Then, when I was in the sixth grade, I started actively watching Pornography DVDs and looking at pornographic magazines, which were easily accessible being again they were in my house. As we got a computer and I learned the ropes of it I discovered Anime video game porn, but soon that faded and I upgraded to X sites, but still around this time my primary source of Entertainment was Porn DVDs and late night movies. My mind was so polluted!
When I entered into the 8th grade, I got saved but still struggled with watching pornography. I was not actively watching porn everyday but would fall like 1-2 times in a month, or every two months. I felt so displeasing to God and always condemned when I fell, and like the Good Father He is, when I fell He would always calls me back with loving-Kindness, but I would be too ashamed to answer. Instead I would rebel in my shame. I always felt like I was the only one who was struggling with pornography so I kept it to myself, and I believed that God would deliver me. When I was in the 10-11th grade and for almost a year I was free and flourishing, but then I fell one day. By this time I was only falling once a year or so, but my struggle finally ended in 2013. I remembered the last time I watched Porn; God gave me the strength to overcome my flesh and say No for good. My deliverance would have been much sooner if I would have only listen to the still quiet voice trying to pull me out instead of listening to the enemy's voice of lies and rebelling in shame. Glory be unto God because I'm free and I am never going back, I have tasted and seen that the Lord is Good and only in Him can all my needs be fulfilled!
What really helps is reading your word, and staying in the presence of God and having that intimacy with God; strengthen your Spirit man! Please if you hear His voice, do not harden your heart, yield to his voice, the Lord desires to fulfill the great plans He has in your life for you! I also advise you to know your identity in Christ and know that you are victorious because of what He did for us on Calvary! The devil will try to get you to think that you’re the only one who is going through this but indeed he is a liar and the father of all lies and you can definitely do all things through Christ who strengthens you and you are more than a conqueror in Christ Jesus. Get plugged in with genuine believers who can help you through this struggle. One important thing I learned through this is how important discipleship is, especially to the new convert. Having a mentor would have been very beneficial to help me in my walk with Christ. Know that in Christ alone is your fulfillment and abundant life.
To God be the Glory now and Forever.
New Levels, New Glory
“Angela,
Fun, delightful, unique. God’s breaking you out of comfort. You’ll begin to do things delightful and tasteful to the LORD. I see you as a warrior with a sword. FIGHTER. You’ll be faced with many challenges. but God has given you the necessary tools you’ll need to OVERCOME. New Levels, New Glory. Begin to operate in His will and who He’s called you to be.
Love you, Grace U.”
This is a message from over a year ago given to me by one of my teammates at Bethel Campus Fellowship (BCF) Pulse Conference 2014. As I look at it now, I can see how God allowed what Grace said to come to pass in my life.
My name is Ebun Falade and I am an upcoming freshman at Cornell University. Even today, a few days from moving in, I am in awe that God has blessed me with acceptance. Senior year was one full of insane ambition, followed by insane faith. I chased after God like never before and sought for His guidance every step of the way because I knew that missing His instruction could allow me to spend the next four years of my life in the wrong direction. So when I shot for Cornell, and I shot for becoming a Pediatric Surgeon, I trusted that if it was His will, He will make a way for me.
During the application process, many supported me, while others discouraged me. Some told me I was being risky by not applying to more in state/safe schools and that I should stay in Maryland and save money that’s going to be useful for medical school. All good reasons, I refused to accept simply because God taught me not to settle and to expect more from Him. So I applied without hesitation: I got confirmation from God about my essay topic. I prayed, I fasted, I fellowshipped, but, most importantly, I believed. And on March 13th, I got my acceptance letter into Cornell University.
After acceptance I was still faced with the challenge of figuring out how my tuition was going to be paid. FAFSA is known to be not so generous, and submitting my financial information applications late made me even more concerned, but nevertheless God made a way for me. Just a few days prior to May 1st, I received my financial aid package from Cornell with basically my whole tuition covered with grants and scholarships. It doesn’t end there though; along with my acceptance I was enrolled in a summer program at the school, completely paid for. In this pre-freshman program, I took classes for six weeks and got familiar with campus in order to improve my transition to the school come fall semester. Knowing that Cornell had prestigious academics, I was ready and excited to take on the challenge, or at least I thought I was.
This summer was actually one of the least favorite summers of my life. Yeah I said it. And this was not totally because I couldn’t spend my final summer before college having fun with my friends and family, (I had already come into terms with that when found out about the program in March) it was because my academic performance was severely poor up until the final days of the program. I started off poorly, just as everyone else and for the same exact reason; we’re all straight out of high school. We did not know how to study, work, or manage our time like a college student. However overtime we were expected to gain better study habits, learn exactly how we learn, and efficiently maximize the little time on our hands. All these things I failed to do week after week.
This summer I took Chemistry and Calculus, which were both very difficult courses, and juggling the workload became a major challenge for me. Chemistry usually consumed majority of my day leaving me with little time for calculus. And even when I thought I found some type of a balance my grades reminded me that whatever I was doing was not working. I stayed in the D and E range of my class on the chemistry exams for about four weeks, and I had the lowest and second to lowest scores of my calculus class. These courses were pass/fail, which meant that I needed above a 60 to be considered a pass, and I was not even sure I could obtain that. I was scared that my acceptance could possibly get revoked because of my poor performance, so that anxiety lingered in my mind as I continued throughout the summer. On top of that, I found out my dad was in and out of the hospital back home, and not being able to be there for him for the first time took a great toll of me.
Though I spent the six weeks with about 200 other students, I often felt as though I had no one. My friendships merely touched the surface, and the only people I could really express my frustration to were my friends and family back home. “It’s okay Angela, keeping pushing, God’s is going to work everything out, it’s going to get better” was basically what I was told through every facetime call and text message. But it’s hard hearing that and praying and working harder just to see the same results. It was not getting better. I felt defeated, and for the first time I started questioning if I was even going to be able to handle the rigor of Cornell. But then I texted Olamide, the awesome creator of this blog, and she gave me two pieces of scriptures that I stood on for the rest of my summer journey.
“Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go. Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”
Joshua 1:7-9 NIV
“Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.”
James 1:4-6 NIV
One of the beautiful things about following Christ is that He believes in us, even when we don’t believe in ourselves. We have to learn to lean on Him and wait on Him when things get tough, because being optimistic isn’t enough, especially not through college. Positivity without faith turns negative quite and fast once we look at our circumstances. If we know God’s promises, if we know His Word, and if we trust in Him, we shouldn't focus on our circumstances no matter how bad they are, but we should focus on His will for our lives.
“.. being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”
Philippians 1:6 NIV
God doesn’t open doors for us just so we can walk right back out of them. If He got us to it, then He will get us through it. We have all the tools that we need, and if we’re in lack of anything, we can simply ask God for it. The end route is success and prosperity in Christ and looking at the bigger picture makes it a little more bearable to through the roller coaster of college.
I asked God for wisdom and He gave it to me during the last week of the program. I realized that I wasn’t spending enough time studying alone; I was always working with peers or teacher’s assistants or professors. I knew the material, but I didn’t know it for myself, and without mastering it by myself I performed poorly on my exams. So during the last week I minimized my group studying and maximized my individual studying. I socialized less, I got better sleep, and I even had a little more time to myself. I got a C on my third chemistry exam and A on my final, boosting my D average in the class to a C, which was amazing for me seeing how I started. Calculus was a different story: my third exam was a twenty point increase from before which was a pretty good improvement. However, to this day I do not know what my final exam grade or my final grade was, I just know I passed... and that’s enough for me.
In the end, some would say I learned how to study like a college student a little too late. But God’s timing is the best timing whether we like it or not. I waited on Him and trusted in Him and finally I saw the fruits of my labor. And I know that if I continue to keep this mindset of faith, God will get me through these four years just as He got me through this summer. With fall semester coming up, upcoming freshman are filled with excitement and nervousness, but this summer has taught me that I CAN and I WILL do this. It may take a while figuring out how, but I am going to walk across the stage in the next four years and move on to another chapter in my life. As God takes me to new levels in life, the enemy is going to attack even harder. As I fight through these trials I will build my faith and endurance in the process, seeing God reveal new glory in my life.
To everyone going back to school, especially rising college freshmen, don’t give up. The transition is not going to be easy; you’re going to have to drop many of your bad high school study habits and take on new ones. The pressure is harder, the competition is stronger, and you’re going to work harder than you’ve ever worked before to get the grades you want. But just remember that you have Christ on your side. If you continue to have faith and persevere then you will be successful. Get ready for your New Levels and New Glory!
My name is Ebunoluwa Angela Falade and I live in Bowie, Maryland. I recently graduated from Flowers High School, and I am now freshman at Cornell University. I have been saved for about 2 years and I'm aspiring pediatric surgeon.
A Woman Made
Where should I even start? Do you know that feeling you get when you're just in a state of shock and awe from the blessings that God has given you? This is my current state. He has been so faithful to me during my four years at the University of Richmond. To be cheesy and quote the simplest, yet powerful quote from a Lecrae song, "My whole life changed."
It started when I was recruited to Richmond on a track scholarship; I had never heard of the school. I even had to look it up on College Board to see how legit it was, but to my surprise, it was that and way more. Can you say “Come up?" After I got accepted, I was hesitant, but excited to start this new journey in my life. But little did I know that God would show me and mold me in three very specific areas of my life: my purpose for His glory, my friendships for His community/church, and my identity in Him.
MY PURPOSE
Coming from a Nigerian home, the only career paths that were worthy of praise were becoming a doctor, lawyer, engineer or something involved in business, like accounting. Anything else wasn't worthy of mentioning, so of course I brought that mindset to college. I wanted to be an Anesthesiologist, only because it sounded cool and I could spell it. However, in Fall semester, when I took Chemistry 141 with Dr. Myers and had to study covalent bonds, acid-base reactions and had tutor sessions three nights a week, I wasn't reaaaddddyyyyy. I was struggling so much in that class just trying to stay awake, trying to care; I exhausted so much energy just to barely pass. I got a B in the class. But when I reflected on how much time and energy it took me to get a simple B, I didn't have any peace that this was what God had purposed for me.
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Jeremiah 29:11
As a born-again Christian, I didn’t really understand what Jeremiah 29:11 meant for me. I didn’t understand that God is very clear about what He has for us, even when we don’t know. Going through the process of trying to figure out who I was and what I was meant to do was exciting, yet frustrating. Being young and not really aware of who I was or what God wanted, I tried a little bit of everything academically. I had no clear understanding of my purpose or that God was mindful of me or that my plans mattered to Him. When I was at the point of thinking about transferring for like the umpteenth time, I had the opportunity to do a summer internship with an after-school program called Youthlife Foundation of Richmond. That's where my love for education, social justice, and inner city youth, jumpstarted the path to my purpose.
It was after this that I had every opportunity to volunteer, work with, and intern at organizations that solidified to me more and more, that this was what God had for me. And the best part was everything came to me naturally. I was getting As in my education classes, networking and building relationships with my professors, and volunteering so much that I had ample experience with students. My resume had been built so much in those two years that I was able to apply for Teach for America at the end of my junior year and make it through the application process, which doesn’t happen very often. Proverbs 16:3 says “Commit to the Lord whatever you do, will establish your plans.” It was when I did that, consciously and unconsciously, that He ordered my steps and showed me my purpose. All the glory belongs to Him. By His grace, last Sunday on May 10th, 2015, I graduated from the University of Richmond with a Bachelor of Arts in American Studies and minor in Education and Society!
MY COMMUNITY
Honestly, coming to a private school in Richmond, VA wasn't the most ideal situation. Most of my friends were staying in MD for college so I felt left out, and I knew leaving my family was going to be hard too, but not understanding community, looking for a church, and all things associated with building my faith, made it even harder. Fortunately, God had His plans in action as soon as I came on campus. It was on the first day of class that someone invited me to an off-campus bible study that transformed my life, God wasn’t wasting any time! At that time, I was living my life as if the good deeds I did were going to get me favor with God and into heaven, but one night there I heard the Gospel and how much Christ died so that I didn't have to feel guilty or shame when I didn't fulfill every standard of the law because Christ already did (Matthew 5:17) . Hallelujah!
It was from this bible study, God brought me to a church that was Gospel-centered and Christ-minded; every sermon left me in tears, challenging my faith and strengthening my assurance in Him. More than that, God brought me a family.; He brought in older sisters in Christ and strong women of God who showed me what it meant to be daughter of God, a sister in Christ, and a true woman of God. It was transformational and it was only by His provision that it was happening. As I look back on my time, I realize how much He pursued me and cared to teach me His ways. He showed me the true meaning of His church and what it meant to live with a community of Believers. The love, support, and accountability I encountered taught me so many things about God's desire for His church and the way he expects us to have relationships with one another. It was monumental for me because I grew up struggling with relationships, from friendships to romantic relationships. God cared for me in that way and it made me realize how mindful He was of me.
My Identity
In all these things, God was forming the most important thing: my identity. Before college, I thought I knew who I was, but God was just like, "Nah girl, you thought you knew.” I was blown away by the woman I was turning into and it was because God was the one revealing it to me! Before Christ, my identity was based on my accomplishments, my disappointments and failures, and my relationships, but God showed me how my old self was no longer, and that my identity was hidden in Christ (Colossians 3:3). He knew me better than I knew myself; He showed me my faults and weaknesses, but He also showed me the beauty that was in me. He formed me before I was born and He cherished me. I was His beloved, His daughter, someone who He loved and cared for so immensely. I was His. Knowing this changed everything: I no longer looked to others for approval and I grew confident in who He called me to be. And the evidence was in the last four years of my life. This is a testimony that God cares for the growth and maturity of His children, as well as them finding their destiny! College can be a struggle, let’s be honest, but God can also do transformational work in His children as well. This is my testimony.
Hallelujah!
I am born again,
He’s alive now
I’m alive in Him!
I Choose Truth
During my senior year, just like almost every other senior, all I heard was, “So what are you doing after graduation?” This simple question easily brought me so much anxiety. For some reason, I started to doubt that law was my calling. I was excelling in the international studies field, going to the World Bank all too often, conducting my own independent research in Spain, and offering financial advice to a small village in Honduras. But in all honesty, I was not trying to take the LSAT (admission exam for law school); everybody said it was hard and I was low-key intimidated. I tried to run away from pursuing law, but once I sat down and actually sought God about my purpose, He undoubtedly affirmed that law was for me. My fear of taking the LSAT was not necessarily dispelled after that, but I knew I could do it. Well, at that point, I had to. My goal was to go to a top 14 law school, which required me to have a 4.0 GPA and 170 LSAT score. I was definitely short on the GPA, so the only option I had was to extremely excel at the LSAT. I knew, however, this would ONLY be possible with lots of hard work and a whole lot of GOD!
Studying for LSAT had to be the hardest thing I have ever done in my life, honestly. A stiff person could learn how to Nae Nae faster than they could learn how to simply understand this exam. After graduating from Johns Hopkins University in May 2014, I had to deal with everyone’s Facebook posts of how they’re working at Goldman Sachs, or going off to medical school, or just anything else that had to do with growing up and making the world a better place. But I was at home…studying…my life away, literally. Mind you, I took two months to study and take the GRE. I never knew how much I struggled until I took a Kaplan course and met people who well surpassed my target score. I am usually good at setting a goal and accomplishing it, but the LSAT let me know it would be much harder than I thought. That six-week course, to me, amounted to almost nothing. With all the heaps of books and materials they offered us, I still was barely improving. I pushed my exam back two more months; as I was completely not ready. I felt I had to do something else.
Through the Vice President of a summer program I did at Princeton University, I was able to get a private tutor for free. Can you say ‘God siced?’ Every day, I commuted to Bethesda to meet one of the best tutors in D.C. She literally tutors the kids of all the top professions in D.C. I thought that with private tutoring, things would totally change. But no, I was still struggling. My target score no longer seemed like a possibility, but I still tried. Both my Kaplan teacher and my tutor told me I should focus on applying to schools of lower ranking. And all that time, I had my family reaping heaps of pressure upon me to do well. I felt hopeless. Every single way I turned, I saw blatant discouragement, that is, until I garnered the strength to finally look up to God. God affirmed that law school was my calling, and He told me to apply for the 2015 cycle. Those were the only words I had; they were the only words worth believing. I soon began to snatch up every promise I could find in the Bible. In Deuteronomy 8:7, God promised me that He was bringing me to a good land. In Deuteronomy 9:1-3, He promised to clear the path for me to do the impossible. And in Daniel 1:4 and 17, He promised to bless me with knowledge. I recited these promises over myself day in and day out.
“I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in His word I do hope.”
Psalm 130:5 (NKJV)
Even after getting my score, which was the lowest score I asked Daddy for, I knew I had to anchor my soul on the words of Father. My mentors even told me to apply next year so I could retake the LSAT, but I knew what God had told me, and I had no choice but to stick to it. I HAD TO STOP BEING REALISTIC AND START BEING HOPEFUL. I VOWED TO LIVE BY THE REALITY OF THE WORD NOT OF THE WORLD.
I told myself that I would not limit God’s “impossibilities” (what I deemed impossible). I knew that if it were God’s will for me to go to a top law school, He would jump any and every protocol for His daughter. So I believed and kept believing.
When it came time to start applying, God graced me with amazing people to help me throughout the whole process. I sent out all 21 applications in complete faith, not having to pay one application fee. And by February, I started to hear back from schools. I was getting into every school (ah!), but I didn’t hear from any of my top schools yet, until one day I took a break at my job (at the #1 immigration law firm in the country, which God literally handed to me on a silver plate) and had a voicemail from a random California number. It was Dean Edward Tom from Berkeley Law calling to tell ME... that I got accepted! Wait, I don’t think you got that. I said MEEE! I had never wept like I did after that. I couldn’t even go back to work after that. I was in total shock and in awe at the same time. Their median LSAT and GPA were 167 and 3.81, with a 12% acceptance rate, and I didn’t even have a 160 or 3.8. THAT IS GOD!
My constant prayer was God please give me what I NEED, and not what I want. And praise God for that prayer because Lord knows I didn't get close to what I wanted, but guess what? I didn't need it! What I NEEDED was to depend on God. My desires were simple: go to a top 14 law school, go to a law school with a top international law program, and go to a law school in California. University of California, Berkeley is all of that, plus more! God, the greatest loving Father, gave me the desires of my heart, simply because He placed them there and has destined me to fulfill my purpose through Him. I didn’t allow those “realities” to taint my revelation of Jesus Christ as the Truth and all that He promised me. Daddy God gave me everything I wanted with what He deemed I needed. My experiences in life will not change my revelation of God, but more importantly, my revelation of God will change my experiences in life! I learned what it meant to have complete faith in God’s promises. I came to understand God’s word as the final word and ultimate truth. Now I’m ready to evangelize on the streets of Berkeley, as well as in the classroom!
Maria Adebayo is a recent graduate of John Hopkins University, where she studied International Studies and Sociology with concentrations in Global Social Change and Development with a minor in Spanish for the Professions. Maria is interested in international law and economic development and poverty alleviation. She hopes to one day pursue a Master's degree in International Studies from Johns Hopkins University School of Advanced International Studies. As of now, she works at Fragomen, Del Rey, Bernsen and Loewy, a global immigration law firm located in Washington, D.C. During her free time, Maria enjoys looking cute, exercising, taking pictures, riding thru the six with my woes and loving God.
ANONYMOUS
A while back, I went to the doctors because my period was irregular. Ever since I started my menstrual cycle, I would get it in one month and not get anything until about 3-4 months after. Since I just started, my mom thought it would get regular the more I grew up, but little did she know. For awhile, it remained the same, but with the irregular cycles, it was also extremely heavy and lasted for long periods of time. I remember being on my period for 30 days straight! Fortunately with this, I did not feel any pain at all like most females do.
Due to how weird this was, we went to the doctors and after a bunch of x-ray's and CT scans she told me I had Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS).
"PCOS is a problem in which a woman's hormones are out of balance. It can cause problems with your periods and make it difficult to get pregnant. PCOS also may cause unwanted changes in the way you look. If it isn't treated, over time it can lead to serious health problems, such as diabetes and heart disease" (webmd.com).
My doctor told me that I would have to get on birth control pills and some medication for diabetes, which will help balance my hormones. Even though we got the medication, I decided I was not going to take them because that meant I accepted the sickness and my mom agreed with me, so we kept praying. I went to the 2014 Bethel Campus Fellowship conference from February 7th -9th, 2013 and I got my period on February 8th and for the first time ever my period was over in a week. It was not as heavy as it usually was and it felt regular. I praised God and I accepted my healing.
The next month my period came again on the 8th and lasted for about a week. At this point, I knew my healing was complete and I just praise God for restoring me and knowing I will have no problems with conceiving (when the time comes). I had prayed for this for a while and sometimes I accepted that this was how my life was going to be, but God proved me wrong. Just because my prayers were not answered when I wanted them to did not mean it was not in God's plan for me to be healed. I encourage everyone waiting on the Lord for something to keep having faith. He will answer in time :)
-Signed Unknown aka "Luke 8:44"
