ZONETTA
“If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed.”
John 8:36
Let no other name, but the name of The Lord, alone, be praised, and given the glory!
I don’t know why, but I just been feeling pushed to share this testimony any chance I can get. My name is Zonetta, but I go by Zo and proudly would love to scream that Christ has freed me from 11 years of pornography addiction. 11 years?! Yes my friend, you heard correctly, 11 years. It started in the third grade and glory be to God officially ended at the beginning of my sophomore year of college.
As a child, I was always very curious and eager to learn about new things and it just so happens that there was this sex book in my house that I found one day and I thought the things in the book to be interesting. If that wasn’t bad enough, I also one day saw a DVD in the living room and I popped it in. To my surprise, let’s just say it looked interesting.
As I grew up, I found out more and my interest soon progressed from the little black porn book to late night television porn. You know late nights on HBO, there are always very raunchy uncut movies. With the movie package we had, they were made available to me and I tried to watch them every chance I could get.
Then, when I was in the sixth grade, I started actively watching Pornography DVDs and looking at pornographic magazines, which were easily accessible being again they were in my house. As we got a computer and I learned the ropes of it I discovered Anime video game porn, but soon that faded and I upgraded to X sites, but still around this time my primary source of Entertainment was Porn DVDs and late night movies. My mind was so polluted!
When I entered into the 8th grade, I got saved but still struggled with watching pornography. I was not actively watching porn everyday but would fall like 1-2 times in a month, or every two months. I felt so displeasing to God and always condemned when I fell, and like the Good Father He is, when I fell He would always calls me back with loving-Kindness, but I would be too ashamed to answer. Instead I would rebel in my shame. I always felt like I was the only one who was struggling with pornography so I kept it to myself, and I believed that God would deliver me. When I was in the 10-11th grade and for almost a year I was free and flourishing, but then I fell one day. By this time I was only falling once a year or so, but my struggle finally ended in 2013. I remembered the last time I watched Porn; God gave me the strength to overcome my flesh and say No for good. My deliverance would have been much sooner if I would have only listen to the still quiet voice trying to pull me out instead of listening to the enemy's voice of lies and rebelling in shame. Glory be unto God because I'm free and I am never going back, I have tasted and seen that the Lord is Good and only in Him can all my needs be fulfilled!
What really helps is reading your word, and staying in the presence of God and having that intimacy with God; strengthen your Spirit man! Please if you hear His voice, do not harden your heart, yield to his voice, the Lord desires to fulfill the great plans He has in your life for you! I also advise you to know your identity in Christ and know that you are victorious because of what He did for us on Calvary! The devil will try to get you to think that you’re the only one who is going through this but indeed he is a liar and the father of all lies and you can definitely do all things through Christ who strengthens you and you are more than a conqueror in Christ Jesus. Get plugged in with genuine believers who can help you through this struggle. One important thing I learned through this is how important discipleship is, especially to the new convert. Having a mentor would have been very beneficial to help me in my walk with Christ. Know that in Christ alone is your fulfillment and abundant life.