My Choice to Trust

I was always considered the good girl amongst my group of friends growing up. I rarely indulged in illegal activities or things that I felt were against my character. Although my mom raised me well with no help, but I still had hidden issues.

The issues that I struggled with felt and still feel so big sometimes. It used to seem like it was easier to continue ignoring it, but, as I am growing older I realize that ignoring my issues cause it to show up in another form. I’ve learned that the issue is only one thing: my lack of trust in God.

Whenever I knowingly sin, I used to find it overwhelmingly embarrassing to face God, people and even myself to deal with it. I tend to ignore it and managed to convince myself that the sin I committed is not something I would do, because it’s against my character. It’s against my character but I did it though, and so I needed to seek God and repent.

I felt like Eve. She hid from God, knowing that He would find her after she sinned. God knows my issue, so why can’t He just take it away? Why do I still need to confess? Why can’t He just magically make me trust Him? If I try trusting Him, will all my other problems go away? What if they don’t, will I have any reason to still trust Him?

I sinned because I did not trust God. I settled because I did not trust God. I’ve dealt with soul ties because I did not trust God.

I don’t think I understood, or trusted, how much God loves me, to be honest. If I trusted God I would not fear what I fear now. If I trusted God, I would not run away from Him when I sinned because I know that He will cleanse me. If I trusted God, I would not be unwilling to pray for a stranger or a friend who is sick or needs salvation. If I trusted God, I would be able to love and be loved unconditionally.

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How precious are your thoughts about me, O God.

   They cannot be numbered!

I can’t even count them;

   they outnumber the grains of sand!

And when I wake up,

   you are still with me!

Psalm 138: 17-18

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If I could just focus on this scripture alone, if I could just focus on the precious thoughts that God has for me, there would be no space for self-doubt.

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Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.

Isaiah 41: 10

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If I could just apply this scripture in my life, there would be no space for fear or discouragement.

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Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.  Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4: 6-7

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If I could grasp the meaning of this scripture, the would be no space for worry.

My lack of trust is not because God has failed me, but it is because I have not comprehended how big God is, so the mediocre things I asked God for do not come to pass because He has far greater plans for my life. I may not see it now, but I have to know and believe that God knows best.

Now when I ask Jesus, “why nothing seems to be going my way?,” He replies,

“You don’t understand now what I am doing, but someday you will” John 13:7.
 

And so all that is left to do is trust.

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You Can't Clean Yourself

So let’s say you have a body, two legs, and no arms. Now tell me, are you able to clean yourself? I think not, but if so please immediately email us, so we can talk about the miracle that is you. Otherwise, this article is for you.

I have seen many people say things like “I want to wait until a certain point to bring myself to God” or “I am just not ready yet.” I just want to take this opportunity to let you know that God loves you the way you are and wants you to come to Him the way you are. It’s funny, there is no where in the bible where Jesus exactly says “come as you are,” so I can understand why we sometimes may feel the need to get “prepared” for Jesus. The thing is we need to realize there is nothing we can do to get “prepared” to accept Jesus. The bible shares a powerful verse in Romans chapter 5 verse 8, it says "But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Signifying that He knew, He knew what He was getting into when He loved us. God does not want you to wait until you are ready to stop being in your mess, before you come to Him. He wants to take your mess and help you make it beautiful.

THIS IS WHY WE HAVE REPENTANCE

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"Now repent of your sins and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped away."

Acts 3:19

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The bible is intentional when it places words where it places them. God does not just say anything, anywhere or anyhow, His words have purpose for their placement. Take a look at the verse again, it says “repent of your sins AND TURN to God…” Repentance is the Turning away from your mess also known as your sin, and redirecting your eyes and focus back onto Jesus. Recognize that when we make our messes, our eyes are not on Jesus. This is obvious because if they were, we would not have gone in the way we did but it’s alright. Repentance is your way of telling the Lord that you are sorry and that you want to get back on the track of His will and not your own. It is known that we make messes and wrong decisions.

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"Don't be afraid, for I am with you. Don't be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious hand"

Isaiah 41:10

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We know our circumstances and everything we have been through. We are consistently aware of what we go through and what we desire and it is not always in line with what we see as who God is. We see God as wanting perfect people who are not dealing with any kind of struggles. Because of this, we stand clear and stay away until we don’t desire these things any more. Thoughts we have, things we say, and even things we find ourselves doing, sometimes, don’t seem to be what we believe God wants. We forget though, when Jesus roamed the Earth as a man, He spent most of his time around people with messed up situations. Those were the people who showed their real selves to Jesus, those were the individuals who were real with Him. So you think, while being around them, what did He do? He made their lives and situations better.

The Pharisees always tried to act as if they were perfect, not only around Jesus, but before others too. All Jesus did was make them question themselves, but out of bitterness, they did all they could to have Him persecuted and murdered. I don’t think we want to head down that route or even be remotely related to them, trying to look perfect before Jesus, when He knew them better than they knew themselves.

In John 4, there’s a woman at a well that Jesus encounters and speaks with. She found it surprising that He spoke to her, because she was a Samaritan woman and He was a Jew. Samaritans and Jews did not like each other and had long term tension. I believe this shows us that Jesus can relate to us, no matter how different from Him we believe we are. In some cases we feel like Jesus wouldn’t even come near us if He knew us.

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"But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us."

Romans 5:8

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As Jesus spoke to her, He began telling her about herself and her history and difficulty with men. A history that could easily be seen as promiscuous. (I’ll use that word because its about the nicest one I can think to use at the moment.) It’s funny though, she did not exactly have the best track record, but Jesus still saw it necessary to encounter her. He didn’t have to. He could have kept to Himself or did other things. He chose to impact her life that day and He wants to impact yours. Just like He knew her dirty laundry well before conversing with her, He knows yours. Jesus brought up her sin and gave her the salvation that she needed. Pay attention to the fact that she did not run away from Him. She did question Him, but never ran away from the Lord. So why do we run when we feel dirty? The Lord pretty much took her dirt in His hands, showed it to her and washed it away. Realize He didn’t have her sort through it, He didn’t even ask her to explain herself. What Jesus did was offer her the Light she sought and needed. This is a small reminder that Jesus is offering you, Himself, even in knowing what you have to offer…….which is not much.

There's a verse that I love, it’s Isaiah 61:3:

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"To all who mourn in Israel, he will give a crown of beauty for ashes, a joyous blessing instead of mourning, festive praise instead of despair. In their righteousness, they will be like great oaks that the Lord has planted for his own glory."

Isaiah 61:3

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God wants to trade your mess for His light, His love, and all that He has. There’s really no way to clean yourself before Him, He made you and He knows all your flaws, yet He loves you more than you can ever imagine. What’s even better is that His arms are always open and He is always forgiving. Don’t believe me. Believe the actions of Christ, who took the beating and died just for us. So why would He now have you get yourself together before coming to Him? We can’t clean ourselves, so we have to always remember Jesus is here to help.

#GetchaHeadOutTheGame:

The Struggle of Being A Believing Sports Fanatic and Staying Disciplined

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Two facts to know about me: I love Jesus and I love sports.

I love sports so much, that I’m a freelance sports writer; so much, that if I could do one thing every hour of the day, and get paid for it, I’d sit down in an isolated room, with several TVs up, just to pour my life away watching, analyzing, and assessing sports (basketball and football preferably) and playing sport video games (Nba 2k, NCAA Football, FIFA, Madden--in that order). Yeah, pretty intense, right?

At this time, you’re probably wondering why for the last 45 seconds, did you just read about my love for sports, and how in anyway, does that benefit you? I’ll tell you this: it doesn’t—unless, of course—you want it to. But I’ll share a story that may benefit you—hopefully:

The ending of this last Super Bowl crushed me:

For the record, I am and will forever be an Philadelphia Eagles fan, but the Seahawks currently serve as my second favorite team in the NFL, and I've hated—strongly despised—the Patriots, since their 2004 Super Bowl win over my Eagles—so naturally, I was rooting for the Seahawks.

All of America likely knows what should’ve happened on that last Seahawks play, but I won’t delve too deep into that—but just know, when there was no flag thrown on that Patriots’ interception, it was as if my heart shattered.

I was disheartened for a few reasons: obviously the big one above, and secondly, there was a prayer call I needed to be on at 10 pm--the exact time Malcolm Butler made the interception. So I’m just:

As I walloped in disappointment and minor heartbreak, I distraughtly wondered ‘how the heck did he intercept the ball, at the exact beginning of this prayer line?’ I became so disheartened that joining the prayer call, almost seemed farfetched.That’s just what sports does to me, man.  What made it worse, is that on a GroupMe, with prayer leaders of Bethel Campus Fellowship (BCF), up until the ending of the game, we joked about the game (these were also the leaders for that call). But as soon as that ball was intercepted (I’m still enduring the pain of my mind replaying that moment), one of the leaders posts: “OKAY step away from your TV and call into the prayer line.” That broke me, since y’know I joined in on the joking. But in my hurt, I was all like…

I really just didn’t want to get on that line; a brother was just too in his feelings. I had allowed, something very trivial to my existence, derail my entire night and I still had homework and laundry to do, talkless of this call.

Eventually, out of near anger, I turned off the TV and engaged with a few other obligations I had; but as I’m tending to the laundry, it hits me: “REPENT. YOU HAVE A NEED TO BE ON THIS LINE! REPENT!” Bleh, I didn’t want to...but I did.

The whole concept of repentance, for me, is summarized with these few verses: 2 Chronicles 7:14, Romans 12:2, Ephesians 1:20, Ephesians 2:6, and Colossians 3:1-2. I’ll delve into repentance in another post, but just know: I had to “humble, pray, seek His face, and turn from [my foolish emotions towards the game]” (2C7:14); I also had to renew my mind (R12:2) as to where I was positioned spiritually: “in Heavenly places in Christ Jesus….[where He is] seated at the right hand of God” (E2:6; E1:20); finally leaving my thoughts “on those things above and not below” (E3:1-2)

Once I had done this, my mind and heart were finally free--I could get on the call, and really just move on from the sting of the Super Bowl; I had been set free! Hallelujah! I’m still salty, though (-_-.); but, nevertheless, Hallelujah! I was set free, and ready to do as was required of me—jump on that call, and partake in what was needed (—by the way, I was really blessed on the call that night).

The moral of that tale, was to exemplify how easy it is to lose focus on the “One Thing that is needed” (Luke 10:41), and allow vain pursuits to overtake your soul. Yeah, it was for only a few minutes that I walloped over the game’s dramatic ending, but my soul felt as if it ached for days. This is football, we’re talking about people! Ye, this is what I’ve sought as a career; what I desire to be involved with for a hefty chunk of my life.

Since entering into this year, I’ve desired and even written on my makeshift vision board (really a few sheets in a notebook), that I’d not give sports and video games as much priority as the previous year, but I’ve quickly fallen short in that declaration.

Well, because...my heart hasn’t been fully surrendered. Jesus tells us, in Mark 12:30,  to “love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, all your soul, all your might, and all your strength;” that essentially screams, ‘LOVE THE LORD WITH EVERY OUNCE WITHIN YOU!”

That’s where God wants our hearts; He wants our full turned attention and are close intimate conversation solely fixated on Him (I see you Misty Edwards). But, it’s so easy, I know for me, and many of you, to get carried away, with these trifles. These things, that by themselves, they’re mainly harmless and soothingly entertaining; these things like social media, fashion, cars, sports, even school, just to name a few; once our hearts get invested in them, we start getting aloof.

That’s what happened to me that night, and it’s what happens to me ever so often, almost daily. I’m constantly in a battle of choosing what to surrender to, and I don’t always choose the “good part,” as Mary chose in Luke 10:42. Often times, I find myself crawling, after indulging in these pleasures, back to the cross, back to the throne of grace--asking for grace and mercy in such a desperate time of need (Hebrews 4:16).

But here’s where it gets better: I don’t think God dislikes the things we like, except if they completely and totally defy His Word or His Spirit--and that can occur, when we exalt those things over God, as idols. But God, in His richness in mercy, grace and forgiveness, loves a “a broken and a contrite heart,” for this is a heart and sacrifice “[God] will never despise” (Psalms 51:17). There’s a constant need for believers to examine themselves (2 Corinthians 13:5; 1 Corinthians 10:12); but it’s even more a necessitate that believers allow God to search their hearts, because ONLY then, will the wickedness of their heart be expelled and only then will He be able to lead them on the path of everlasting life (Psalm 139: 23-24), with eyes solely focused on Him (Matthew 6:22; Hebrews 12:2).

As brief as it was, my Super Bowl aftermath gave me a little insight into the married life: where as a wife may desire the attention of her husband, but because he’s too caught up in his interests (work, sports, etc.), he completely, unintentionally, ignores her, leaving her upset, and feeling unwanted and unimportant; however, it’s the husband that suffers the most, as he had possibly just missed an opportunity to receive something beneficial from his wife, or if anything, perhaps, just grow in their relationship—this, almost literally, is what happens when we set our attention and affection on something or someone other than God. Neglecting God, is never the move--because we’re the ones, who’ll suffer for it (READ THE Old Testament). While it may not be sports nor video games, do strive not to  allow your pleasures or subtle passions to take any preeminence in your life. And #GetchaHeadOutTheGame

Peace.

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[1] Check out Misty Edwards’ latest album, for the song Companion, which lyrics say, You are as close as conversation....You are as near as turned attention,

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