My Choice to Trust
I was always considered the good girl amongst my group of friends growing up. I rarely indulged in illegal activities or things that I felt were against my character. Although my mom raised me well with no help, but I still had hidden issues.
The issues that I struggled with felt and still feel so big sometimes. It used to seem like it was easier to continue ignoring it, but, as I am growing older I realize that ignoring my issues cause it to show up in another form. I’ve learned that the issue is only one thing: my lack of trust in God.
Whenever I knowingly sin, I used to find it overwhelmingly embarrassing to face God, people and even myself to deal with it. I tend to ignore it and managed to convince myself that the sin I committed is not something I would do, because it’s against my character. It’s against my character but I did it though, and so I needed to seek God and repent.
I felt like Eve. She hid from God, knowing that He would find her after she sinned. God knows my issue, so why can’t He just take it away? Why do I still need to confess? Why can’t He just magically make me trust Him? If I try trusting Him, will all my other problems go away? What if they don’t, will I have any reason to still trust Him?
I sinned because I did not trust God. I settled because I did not trust God. I’ve dealt with soul ties because I did not trust God.
I don’t think I understood, or trusted, how much God loves me, to be honest. If I trusted God I would not fear what I fear now. If I trusted God, I would not run away from Him when I sinned because I know that He will cleanse me. If I trusted God, I would not be unwilling to pray for a stranger or a friend who is sick or needs salvation. If I trusted God, I would be able to love and be loved unconditionally.
How precious are your thoughts about me, O God.
They cannot be numbered!
I can’t even count them;
they outnumber the grains of sand!
And when I wake up,
you are still with me!
Psalm 138: 17-18
If I could just focus on this scripture alone, if I could just focus on the precious thoughts that God has for me, there would be no space for self-doubt.
Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.
Isaiah 41: 10
If I could just apply this scripture in my life, there would be no space for fear or discouragement.
Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4: 6-7
If I could grasp the meaning of this scripture, the would be no space for worry.
My lack of trust is not because God has failed me, but it is because I have not comprehended how big God is, so the mediocre things I asked God for do not come to pass because He has far greater plans for my life. I may not see it now, but I have to know and believe that God knows best.
Now when I ask Jesus, “why nothing seems to be going my way?,” He replies,
“You don’t understand now what I am doing, but someday you will” John 13:7.
And so all that is left to do is trust.
![True Life: I didn't wake up like this [The story before the glory]](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/54a8ad21e4b0970e0f17e95e/1458530765987-MU6NSV2IF1WIBGDN75J5/The+Story%281%29.png)
The MISFIT: A Charge to (NOT) Fit
“So Father, I thank You and bless You. You are sovereign Lord, and Your precepts, decrees, and Word never change nor fail. You are constant, and You desire for our consistency. I thank You for being so loving, and so forgiving. Right now, Lord I repent for myself and all my brothers and sisters over the world: I repent on the basis of compromise; for greatly this generation of Your children, we’ve been very slack. We’ve accepted many laws; we’ve accepted many decrees; we’ve accepted foolishness; we’ve accepted statements made by our unbelieving counterparts that have become realities to us. God, we’ve claimed Your name and calling, yet have shamed Your Word, through our actions and acceptance of actions of unbelievers. You desire truth and mercy in the secret place, yet it’s often only when we repent for ourselves to You, do we present truth and mercy. God teach us to be like You. Teach us not to withhold truth and mercy. Teach us how to truly follow Your Word, and be like You Christ Jesus. Amen.”
I’m hoping you meant that ‘amen.’ If not now, then I hope by the end of this letter you would. I’m sure you caught the message for this piece already from that prayer and title, but if not, this is clearly and simply about not fitting in—and being very okay with not fitting in.
I’ve told my testimony a number of times, actually, not as much as I probably should though (you can find it in our archives). The thing with my testimony, and who I’ve come to be is: I’ve never actually fit in. I think throughout my pre-college career, I’ve touched with about every social group (cue ‘Stick to the Status Quo’): the ‘nerds,’ the ‘jocks,’ the ‘popular,’ the ‘Africans,’ etc. But I’ve never really found my niche with them. It was because I was not crafted to fit in. From my formation in my mother’s womb, I was created to be a misfit.
“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations.”
Jeremiah 1:5
Consecrate(d) [v]: to make or declare sacred; set apart or dedicate to the service of a deity.
The thing with Bible verses, if anyone is in doubt the validity of their relevance today, is that God’s Word remains the same; it remains available; and it remains effective forever.[1] Psalm 33:9 says, “For He spoke, and it came to be; He commanded, and it stood firm.” So God’s Word remains, and is effective for us today. I believe that, if it’s in the Word, no matter to whom it’s directed at, or for, it has relevance to us as individuals, as a group, and as the entire body, today.
We were made and created to be consecrated. In my interpretation, we were made to be misfits. This requires of us a number of things; might even require a lot of ‘no’s’ for us, but in contrast the innumerable amount of ‘yes’s’ outweigh those ‘no’s.’ In fact, the ‘yes’s’ are so much greater in opposition to the ‘no’s’ that if we observe one ‘yes’ to its opposing ‘no,’ we’ll see that for whoever chooses to do that ‘no,’ WILL SUFFER opposed to the WILL REJOICE that comes with choosing that ‘yes.’
Here’s an example: say you’re faced with the ‘yes’ of attending a night of evangelism or attending a friend’s birthday celebration (which is likely to dabble in ungodliness, a clear ‘no’); you being a believer, can actually probably attend either one, refrain from doing any ungodliness, if you attend the party, and that’d be it.
However, you being a believer with the call to lead others to Christ (that’s not optional, but mandated)[2] are much better off going evangelizing, simply because your focus is leading others to Jesus. While, it’s very possible you can lead the party attendees to Christ, that’s likely not central in your mind frame, nor anyone else’s there.
It’s also very possible that you being at the party positions you into ungodliness, clearly more so than evangelizing, where people knowing of your choice to follow God, can begin questioning whom your loyalty relies on: Jesus or friends. (And trust me, everyone wants to be loyal to their friends, and wants reciprocated loyalty…even JESUS!) These person(s) might begin to wager salvation as a matter that still condones ungodly living, regardless of you not partaking in ungodly actions.
I mean, going evangelizing, can have its negatives as well, right? You might not win a single soul for Christ; you might get cursed out; worst of all, you might even die. But you’ll be straight because you did your job and didn’t assume a position of compromise and for this, God is proud of you. And you’re now due for some type of reward, according to His Word [3] (we did just accept and establish His Word is true, right?).
Shoot, we’re often even given a third option, and that’s to do nothing. This last option tends to favour one of the previous options, in that it requires for the time spent doing the “yes” or “no” to be occupied with something else. And we all know, “what a man reaps, so he sows” (Galatians 6:7).
The point of that example, hopefully I was clear enough, is that the “yes” benefits will always outweigh the “no” benefits, if there are any. What made it a “no” in the first place was the fact that it conflicted with God’s word that says “what fellowship has light to do with darkness” (2 Corinthians 6:14).
The following verse says, “or what portion does a believer share with an unbeliever?” If not examined properly, the verse might seem a little hypocritical. I mean, how can we evangelize to unbelievers, if we’re not around them? Easy, be around them; just don’t accustom yourself to their ways, and their doings. [4] Be set apart. Don’t fit in. Be a MISFIT.
We can save a dying world by being in it, but not doing what it does. We can save our country by being in it, serving in it, but not doing it the way of our fellow countrymen. We can save our schools by being in them, excelling in them, serving in them, but not doing it the way of our peers. We can enjoy ourselves and have the time of our lives by not doing what everyone else does, but doing what we do, with all creativity, inspiration, and grace given to us from God, as to the Lord and not to man.
While recently at IHOP-KC OneThing 2015, in passing, I heard a worship leader say something along the lines of, “We want the world to be sampling and using our songs, not the other way around.” And I couldn’t agree with the individual more. It might even sound cliché, but there’s an abundance of truth there.
All over the Bible, we are charged with being set apart, being different, and having those who’re in the world look unto us and then get directed to the Father, through Jesus Christ, by the Holy Spirit.
We see this when Job is highlighted as a perfect man, one blameless and upright, who feared God and turned away from evil[5]; when God gives the Israelites, through Moses, the 10 commandments and all those laws in Leviticus to remain set apart from the Canaanites[6]; and we see this when God thoroughly urges and instruct us to “let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in Heaven; Keep your conduct among the unbelievers honorable, so that…they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day of visitation” (Matthew 5:16; 1 Peter 2:12)
There’s an evident call to be different, and be different so others may see it, and eventually turn to the Lord because of your difference. Once again, we walk this Christian walk not just for ourselves, but for others to also come to know Jesus. If that’s not what you’re about, my brother, my sister, please evaluate yourself. If your mindset is not about living your life out as an example of Christ while following Christ's’ example, my friend, this Christianity thing you’re doing, isn’t really it.
My simple definition of Christianity is “following Christ.” The disciples were first called Christians in Antioch [7] for simply “following Christ.” Following Christ obviously isn’t just a matter of saying, “Oh, I follow Christ,” but actually doing it—that looks like being a disciple.
And that, I earnestly and prayerfully believe, according to the Word, requires us to deny ourselves, pick up our cross, and truly follow Jesus [8]. We are also required to deny ungodliness, flee from any appearance of evil, do that which is good in the Lord's sight, walk wisely, and do it all for the glory of the Lord [9].
Doing an ounce of any this will indefinitely require us to say “NO” to so many things, such as particular outings, some meetings, specific type of shows, songs, and even dances, maybe even some manners of dressing, and most significantly, some pleasures [10]. But the rewards of that resounding “YES” that raises from declaring these “NO’s,” I assure you, on account of the Word, are far too glorious and too fulfilling for our minds to grasp.
So, I urge you, I earnestly urge you and myself: Let’s please agree with an ‘AMEN’, that at the very dawn of this year, and for the rest of our lives preceding eternity, to say “NO” to these things that akin to ungodliness, or can even hint to any sense of unrighteousness; but in return, let’s develop the eager habit of saying “YES” to every promise, whether conditional or unconditional that God has in store for His children. I’m positive that by His grace and lovingkindness we won’t regret it [11]. Yes, be a MISFIT! Please do. It’ll benefit you, those around you, and the world so much that you are.
But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light.
1 Peter 2:9
Shout out to the guys at Social Club for truly carrying and living out this Misfit lifestyle. Also, here’s a shout out to three sisters for allowing me to experience the joy of being a misfit; you know yourselves’.
With love and a glorious Amen,
Jum the Beloved (1:5)
(Note: Under this are footnotes to all the verses I alluded to, please check them out and hold me accountable.)
[1] Hebrews 4:12; Psalm 33:4-9
[2] Matthew 28:19
[3]1 Corinthians 3:7-8; Luke 10:3-11
[4] Romans 12:2
[5] Job 1:1
[6] Exodus 20; Leviticus
[7] Acts 11:26
[8] Matthew 16:24
[9] Titus 2:11, 1 Thessalonians 5:22, Deuteronomy 6:18, Ephesians 5:15, 1 Corinthians 10:31
[10] Isaiah 58:11
[11] Romans 8:18
New Levels, New Glory
“Angela,
Fun, delightful, unique. God’s breaking you out of comfort. You’ll begin to do things delightful and tasteful to the LORD. I see you as a warrior with a sword. FIGHTER. You’ll be faced with many challenges. but God has given you the necessary tools you’ll need to OVERCOME. New Levels, New Glory. Begin to operate in His will and who He’s called you to be.
Love you, Grace U.”
This is a message from over a year ago given to me by one of my teammates at Bethel Campus Fellowship (BCF) Pulse Conference 2014. As I look at it now, I can see how God allowed what Grace said to come to pass in my life.
My name is Ebun Falade and I am an upcoming freshman at Cornell University. Even today, a few days from moving in, I am in awe that God has blessed me with acceptance. Senior year was one full of insane ambition, followed by insane faith. I chased after God like never before and sought for His guidance every step of the way because I knew that missing His instruction could allow me to spend the next four years of my life in the wrong direction. So when I shot for Cornell, and I shot for becoming a Pediatric Surgeon, I trusted that if it was His will, He will make a way for me.
During the application process, many supported me, while others discouraged me. Some told me I was being risky by not applying to more in state/safe schools and that I should stay in Maryland and save money that’s going to be useful for medical school. All good reasons, I refused to accept simply because God taught me not to settle and to expect more from Him. So I applied without hesitation: I got confirmation from God about my essay topic. I prayed, I fasted, I fellowshipped, but, most importantly, I believed. And on March 13th, I got my acceptance letter into Cornell University.
After acceptance I was still faced with the challenge of figuring out how my tuition was going to be paid. FAFSA is known to be not so generous, and submitting my financial information applications late made me even more concerned, but nevertheless God made a way for me. Just a few days prior to May 1st, I received my financial aid package from Cornell with basically my whole tuition covered with grants and scholarships. It doesn’t end there though; along with my acceptance I was enrolled in a summer program at the school, completely paid for. In this pre-freshman program, I took classes for six weeks and got familiar with campus in order to improve my transition to the school come fall semester. Knowing that Cornell had prestigious academics, I was ready and excited to take on the challenge, or at least I thought I was.
This summer was actually one of the least favorite summers of my life. Yeah I said it. And this was not totally because I couldn’t spend my final summer before college having fun with my friends and family, (I had already come into terms with that when found out about the program in March) it was because my academic performance was severely poor up until the final days of the program. I started off poorly, just as everyone else and for the same exact reason; we’re all straight out of high school. We did not know how to study, work, or manage our time like a college student. However overtime we were expected to gain better study habits, learn exactly how we learn, and efficiently maximize the little time on our hands. All these things I failed to do week after week.
This summer I took Chemistry and Calculus, which were both very difficult courses, and juggling the workload became a major challenge for me. Chemistry usually consumed majority of my day leaving me with little time for calculus. And even when I thought I found some type of a balance my grades reminded me that whatever I was doing was not working. I stayed in the D and E range of my class on the chemistry exams for about four weeks, and I had the lowest and second to lowest scores of my calculus class. These courses were pass/fail, which meant that I needed above a 60 to be considered a pass, and I was not even sure I could obtain that. I was scared that my acceptance could possibly get revoked because of my poor performance, so that anxiety lingered in my mind as I continued throughout the summer. On top of that, I found out my dad was in and out of the hospital back home, and not being able to be there for him for the first time took a great toll of me.
Though I spent the six weeks with about 200 other students, I often felt as though I had no one. My friendships merely touched the surface, and the only people I could really express my frustration to were my friends and family back home. “It’s okay Angela, keeping pushing, God’s is going to work everything out, it’s going to get better” was basically what I was told through every facetime call and text message. But it’s hard hearing that and praying and working harder just to see the same results. It was not getting better. I felt defeated, and for the first time I started questioning if I was even going to be able to handle the rigor of Cornell. But then I texted Olamide, the awesome creator of this blog, and she gave me two pieces of scriptures that I stood on for the rest of my summer journey.
“Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go. Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”
Joshua 1:7-9 NIV
“Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.”
James 1:4-6 NIV
One of the beautiful things about following Christ is that He believes in us, even when we don’t believe in ourselves. We have to learn to lean on Him and wait on Him when things get tough, because being optimistic isn’t enough, especially not through college. Positivity without faith turns negative quite and fast once we look at our circumstances. If we know God’s promises, if we know His Word, and if we trust in Him, we shouldn't focus on our circumstances no matter how bad they are, but we should focus on His will for our lives.
“.. being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”
Philippians 1:6 NIV
God doesn’t open doors for us just so we can walk right back out of them. If He got us to it, then He will get us through it. We have all the tools that we need, and if we’re in lack of anything, we can simply ask God for it. The end route is success and prosperity in Christ and looking at the bigger picture makes it a little more bearable to through the roller coaster of college.
I asked God for wisdom and He gave it to me during the last week of the program. I realized that I wasn’t spending enough time studying alone; I was always working with peers or teacher’s assistants or professors. I knew the material, but I didn’t know it for myself, and without mastering it by myself I performed poorly on my exams. So during the last week I minimized my group studying and maximized my individual studying. I socialized less, I got better sleep, and I even had a little more time to myself. I got a C on my third chemistry exam and A on my final, boosting my D average in the class to a C, which was amazing for me seeing how I started. Calculus was a different story: my third exam was a twenty point increase from before which was a pretty good improvement. However, to this day I do not know what my final exam grade or my final grade was, I just know I passed... and that’s enough for me.
In the end, some would say I learned how to study like a college student a little too late. But God’s timing is the best timing whether we like it or not. I waited on Him and trusted in Him and finally I saw the fruits of my labor. And I know that if I continue to keep this mindset of faith, God will get me through these four years just as He got me through this summer. With fall semester coming up, upcoming freshman are filled with excitement and nervousness, but this summer has taught me that I CAN and I WILL do this. It may take a while figuring out how, but I am going to walk across the stage in the next four years and move on to another chapter in my life. As God takes me to new levels in life, the enemy is going to attack even harder. As I fight through these trials I will build my faith and endurance in the process, seeing God reveal new glory in my life.
To everyone going back to school, especially rising college freshmen, don’t give up. The transition is not going to be easy; you’re going to have to drop many of your bad high school study habits and take on new ones. The pressure is harder, the competition is stronger, and you’re going to work harder than you’ve ever worked before to get the grades you want. But just remember that you have Christ on your side. If you continue to have faith and persevere then you will be successful. Get ready for your New Levels and New Glory!
My name is Ebunoluwa Angela Falade and I live in Bowie, Maryland. I recently graduated from Flowers High School, and I am now freshman at Cornell University. I have been saved for about 2 years and I'm aspiring pediatric surgeon.
I Choose Truth
During my senior year, just like almost every other senior, all I heard was, “So what are you doing after graduation?” This simple question easily brought me so much anxiety. For some reason, I started to doubt that law was my calling. I was excelling in the international studies field, going to the World Bank all too often, conducting my own independent research in Spain, and offering financial advice to a small village in Honduras. But in all honesty, I was not trying to take the LSAT (admission exam for law school); everybody said it was hard and I was low-key intimidated. I tried to run away from pursuing law, but once I sat down and actually sought God about my purpose, He undoubtedly affirmed that law was for me. My fear of taking the LSAT was not necessarily dispelled after that, but I knew I could do it. Well, at that point, I had to. My goal was to go to a top 14 law school, which required me to have a 4.0 GPA and 170 LSAT score. I was definitely short on the GPA, so the only option I had was to extremely excel at the LSAT. I knew, however, this would ONLY be possible with lots of hard work and a whole lot of GOD!
Studying for LSAT had to be the hardest thing I have ever done in my life, honestly. A stiff person could learn how to Nae Nae faster than they could learn how to simply understand this exam. After graduating from Johns Hopkins University in May 2014, I had to deal with everyone’s Facebook posts of how they’re working at Goldman Sachs, or going off to medical school, or just anything else that had to do with growing up and making the world a better place. But I was at home…studying…my life away, literally. Mind you, I took two months to study and take the GRE. I never knew how much I struggled until I took a Kaplan course and met people who well surpassed my target score. I am usually good at setting a goal and accomplishing it, but the LSAT let me know it would be much harder than I thought. That six-week course, to me, amounted to almost nothing. With all the heaps of books and materials they offered us, I still was barely improving. I pushed my exam back two more months; as I was completely not ready. I felt I had to do something else.
Through the Vice President of a summer program I did at Princeton University, I was able to get a private tutor for free. Can you say ‘God siced?’ Every day, I commuted to Bethesda to meet one of the best tutors in D.C. She literally tutors the kids of all the top professions in D.C. I thought that with private tutoring, things would totally change. But no, I was still struggling. My target score no longer seemed like a possibility, but I still tried. Both my Kaplan teacher and my tutor told me I should focus on applying to schools of lower ranking. And all that time, I had my family reaping heaps of pressure upon me to do well. I felt hopeless. Every single way I turned, I saw blatant discouragement, that is, until I garnered the strength to finally look up to God. God affirmed that law school was my calling, and He told me to apply for the 2015 cycle. Those were the only words I had; they were the only words worth believing. I soon began to snatch up every promise I could find in the Bible. In Deuteronomy 8:7, God promised me that He was bringing me to a good land. In Deuteronomy 9:1-3, He promised to clear the path for me to do the impossible. And in Daniel 1:4 and 17, He promised to bless me with knowledge. I recited these promises over myself day in and day out.
“I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in His word I do hope.”
Psalm 130:5 (NKJV)
Even after getting my score, which was the lowest score I asked Daddy for, I knew I had to anchor my soul on the words of Father. My mentors even told me to apply next year so I could retake the LSAT, but I knew what God had told me, and I had no choice but to stick to it. I HAD TO STOP BEING REALISTIC AND START BEING HOPEFUL. I VOWED TO LIVE BY THE REALITY OF THE WORD NOT OF THE WORLD.
I told myself that I would not limit God’s “impossibilities” (what I deemed impossible). I knew that if it were God’s will for me to go to a top law school, He would jump any and every protocol for His daughter. So I believed and kept believing.
When it came time to start applying, God graced me with amazing people to help me throughout the whole process. I sent out all 21 applications in complete faith, not having to pay one application fee. And by February, I started to hear back from schools. I was getting into every school (ah!), but I didn’t hear from any of my top schools yet, until one day I took a break at my job (at the #1 immigration law firm in the country, which God literally handed to me on a silver plate) and had a voicemail from a random California number. It was Dean Edward Tom from Berkeley Law calling to tell ME... that I got accepted! Wait, I don’t think you got that. I said MEEE! I had never wept like I did after that. I couldn’t even go back to work after that. I was in total shock and in awe at the same time. Their median LSAT and GPA were 167 and 3.81, with a 12% acceptance rate, and I didn’t even have a 160 or 3.8. THAT IS GOD!
My constant prayer was God please give me what I NEED, and not what I want. And praise God for that prayer because Lord knows I didn't get close to what I wanted, but guess what? I didn't need it! What I NEEDED was to depend on God. My desires were simple: go to a top 14 law school, go to a law school with a top international law program, and go to a law school in California. University of California, Berkeley is all of that, plus more! God, the greatest loving Father, gave me the desires of my heart, simply because He placed them there and has destined me to fulfill my purpose through Him. I didn’t allow those “realities” to taint my revelation of Jesus Christ as the Truth and all that He promised me. Daddy God gave me everything I wanted with what He deemed I needed. My experiences in life will not change my revelation of God, but more importantly, my revelation of God will change my experiences in life! I learned what it meant to have complete faith in God’s promises. I came to understand God’s word as the final word and ultimate truth. Now I’m ready to evangelize on the streets of Berkeley, as well as in the classroom!
Maria Adebayo is a recent graduate of John Hopkins University, where she studied International Studies and Sociology with concentrations in Global Social Change and Development with a minor in Spanish for the Professions. Maria is interested in international law and economic development and poverty alleviation. She hopes to one day pursue a Master's degree in International Studies from Johns Hopkins University School of Advanced International Studies. As of now, she works at Fragomen, Del Rey, Bernsen and Loewy, a global immigration law firm located in Washington, D.C. During her free time, Maria enjoys looking cute, exercising, taking pictures, riding thru the six with my woes and loving God.
Organized Religion: Prelude
Organize, organize, organize me
If You have my heart then You have every part of me
What I hear, what I say, what I feel, what I see
If You have my heart then You have every part of me
Organized Religion: Prelude
One of the first core values, any believer should know, is to actively practice and pursue purity. But...it’s much easier thought than said publicly, yet much easier to say than actually do.
In the ensuing moments after I surrendered my life to Christ on July 7th, 2012 (read My Testimony), I began the innate pursuit for purity. On the ride home, I began deleting phone numbers and all types of music from phone; as soon as I got home, I went on etching out whatever current negativity I could from social media, and really just trying to orchestrate my life as holy and acceptable to God (Romans 12:1). The problem here was—I was trying.
There’s something about me trying, that may make God laugh (well if not Him , I at least get a chuckle). I say this because every time I attempt to do something out of my own will or desire, I don’t do it too well. Shoot even writing this post, I was failing at it until (at this exact moment) I invited Holy Spirit to join me in writing this ministration. Honestly though, if I was God, and I saw Jummy trying to do anything, I’d erupt in laughter; it’d be like a little ant frantically trying to pick up a grape. No seriously, I suck. Back to my point: after deleting what I thought were big no-no’s in my music playlist (Rage Against The Machines, Eminem, Asher Roth, etc.), and keeping a little Kanye, a little The Fray, and a little Flobots, I thought I was good in terms of music; shoot, I even imparted as much Mali Music and whatever few worship songs I could onto my phone. However, a problem remained: the ever present sorrows of Ye’, the emotional pangs of The Fray, and the liberal activist push by the Flobots were constantly fluxing in those first months of salvation for me. I’d have days where I’m all upbeat and praise-y, and then I hear “Heartless” (by either Ye’ or The Fray), and I would begin weaning the affection of my ex and once again, falling for lust and adultery. Why? Because I tried.
After adapting to wisdom, correction, and conviction, I eventually eliminated those passageways to my heart. I soon learned that everything left unguarded can and will become a tool for the enemy to infiltrate our hearts. Finding that out, as a young believer, really hurt—especially, when I had surrendered to God, my life, but not my heart.
Before we go on: STOP trying. It doesn't work. And if it looks like it does, IT’S A FACADE (FASSSSADE!) Seriously, when we try to make ourselves righteous, pure, holy, acceptable, we fall short every time (Romans 3:23), and we nullify (Romans 10:3) what He’s already done (Romans 8; 2 Corinthians 5:21; Galatians 5:22-23; Ephesians 1:3; 2 Timothy 1:7; 2 Peter 1:3——you’re gonna wanna digest these). We've been equipped with everything required for us to live out Romans 12:1, so we no longer have to try (as they did in the Old Testament), we just do.
The actual point of this post is to pre-introduce you to a new challenge: the Organized Religion Challenge. The lyrics of Beautiful Eulogy’s “Organized Religion”, thoroughly generate the importance of maintaining purity in the five gates of our bodies that are influenced/influence that needed the most: ears, tongue, hands, eyes, and heart; the most pivotal, being the heart.
In this series, I actively choose to maintain purity in those five parts: I am dedicating five weeks, a week for each gate, to just do and actively live out purity. It may seem unnecessary, maybe even elementary, to public declare “I’m pursuing purity in things I hear/ the things I say/ the things I do with my hands/ the things I see/ and the things my heart thinks,” but I believe that just as you being water baptized declares “I BELIEVE IN JESUS CHRIST! AND I WANT TO LIVE FOR HIM,” me posting about this challenge, declares: I BELIEVE IN JESUS CHRIST! AND I’M GOING TO LIVE LIKE HE DID.
I don’t plan on trying to maintain purity, I’m just going to do it. I no longer want to try not to look at the voluptuous female, I just won’t. Why is this possible, you ask? Because “all good works begin from a place of rest, in relationship with the Father.” Every week I partake in this challenge, I’m actively choosing to rest in Christ (Matthew 11:28), knowing that I can do and will conquer all things through Him who strengthens and loves me (Philippians 4:13; Romans 8:37).
This challenge series is experimental in nature, as I hope to immediately adapt to this lifestyle of constant and active purity, not allowing for any crevice that the enemy can use to infiltrate me. But, to be sincerely honest, its been, and will continue to be hard, if I’m not locked on to Jesus (Hebrews 12:2; Matthew 6:22). So, my friends, I invite you on this journey—pray for me, keep me accountable, tune into the weekly summarizing posts, ask questions, and tackle your own Organized Religion Challenge.
Shalom,
JUM (1:2)
#GetchaHeadOutTheGame:
The Struggle of Being A Believing Sports Fanatic and Staying Disciplined
Two facts to know about me: I love Jesus and I love sports.
I love sports so much, that I’m a freelance sports writer; so much, that if I could do one thing every hour of the day, and get paid for it, I’d sit down in an isolated room, with several TVs up, just to pour my life away watching, analyzing, and assessing sports (basketball and football preferably) and playing sport video games (Nba 2k, NCAA Football, FIFA, Madden--in that order). Yeah, pretty intense, right?
At this time, you’re probably wondering why for the last 45 seconds, did you just read about my love for sports, and how in anyway, does that benefit you? I’ll tell you this: it doesn’t—unless, of course—you want it to. But I’ll share a story that may benefit you—hopefully:
The ending of this last Super Bowl crushed me:
For the record, I am and will forever be an Philadelphia Eagles fan, but the Seahawks currently serve as my second favorite team in the NFL, and I've hated—strongly despised—the Patriots, since their 2004 Super Bowl win over my Eagles—so naturally, I was rooting for the Seahawks.
All of America likely knows what should’ve happened on that last Seahawks play, but I won’t delve too deep into that—but just know, when there was no flag thrown on that Patriots’ interception, it was as if my heart shattered.
I was disheartened for a few reasons: obviously the big one above, and secondly, there was a prayer call I needed to be on at 10 pm--the exact time Malcolm Butler made the interception. So I’m just:
As I walloped in disappointment and minor heartbreak, I distraughtly wondered ‘how the heck did he intercept the ball, at the exact beginning of this prayer line?’ I became so disheartened that joining the prayer call, almost seemed farfetched.That’s just what sports does to me, man. What made it worse, is that on a GroupMe, with prayer leaders of Bethel Campus Fellowship (BCF), up until the ending of the game, we joked about the game (these were also the leaders for that call). But as soon as that ball was intercepted (I’m still enduring the pain of my mind replaying that moment), one of the leaders posts: “OKAY step away from your TV and call into the prayer line.” That broke me, since y’know I joined in on the joking. But in my hurt, I was all like…
I really just didn’t want to get on that line; a brother was just too in his feelings. I had allowed, something very trivial to my existence, derail my entire night and I still had homework and laundry to do, talkless of this call.
Eventually, out of near anger, I turned off the TV and engaged with a few other obligations I had; but as I’m tending to the laundry, it hits me: “REPENT. YOU HAVE A NEED TO BE ON THIS LINE! REPENT!” Bleh, I didn’t want to...but I did.
The whole concept of repentance, for me, is summarized with these few verses: 2 Chronicles 7:14, Romans 12:2, Ephesians 1:20, Ephesians 2:6, and Colossians 3:1-2. I’ll delve into repentance in another post, but just know: I had to “humble, pray, seek His face, and turn from [my foolish emotions towards the game]” (2C7:14); I also had to renew my mind (R12:2) as to where I was positioned spiritually: “in Heavenly places in Christ Jesus….[where He is] seated at the right hand of God” (E2:6; E1:20); finally leaving my thoughts “on those things above and not below” (E3:1-2)
Once I had done this, my mind and heart were finally free--I could get on the call, and really just move on from the sting of the Super Bowl; I had been set free! Hallelujah! I’m still salty, though (-_-.); but, nevertheless, Hallelujah! I was set free, and ready to do as was required of me—jump on that call, and partake in what was needed (—by the way, I was really blessed on the call that night).
The moral of that tale, was to exemplify how easy it is to lose focus on the “One Thing that is needed” (Luke 10:41), and allow vain pursuits to overtake your soul. Yeah, it was for only a few minutes that I walloped over the game’s dramatic ending, but my soul felt as if it ached for days. This is football, we’re talking about people! Ye, this is what I’ve sought as a career; what I desire to be involved with for a hefty chunk of my life.
Since entering into this year, I’ve desired and even written on my makeshift vision board (really a few sheets in a notebook), that I’d not give sports and video games as much priority as the previous year, but I’ve quickly fallen short in that declaration.
Well, because...my heart hasn’t been fully surrendered. Jesus tells us, in Mark 12:30, to “love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, all your soul, all your might, and all your strength;” that essentially screams, ‘LOVE THE LORD WITH EVERY OUNCE WITHIN YOU!”
That’s where God wants our hearts; He wants our full turned attention and are close intimate conversation solely fixated on Him (I see you Misty Edwards). But, it’s so easy, I know for me, and many of you, to get carried away, with these trifles. These things, that by themselves, they’re mainly harmless and soothingly entertaining; these things like social media, fashion, cars, sports, even school, just to name a few; once our hearts get invested in them, we start getting aloof.
That’s what happened to me that night, and it’s what happens to me ever so often, almost daily. I’m constantly in a battle of choosing what to surrender to, and I don’t always choose the “good part,” as Mary chose in Luke 10:42. Often times, I find myself crawling, after indulging in these pleasures, back to the cross, back to the throne of grace--asking for grace and mercy in such a desperate time of need (Hebrews 4:16).
But here’s where it gets better: I don’t think God dislikes the things we like, except if they completely and totally defy His Word or His Spirit--and that can occur, when we exalt those things over God, as idols. But God, in His richness in mercy, grace and forgiveness, loves a “a broken and a contrite heart,” for this is a heart and sacrifice “[God] will never despise” (Psalms 51:17). There’s a constant need for believers to examine themselves (2 Corinthians 13:5; 1 Corinthians 10:12); but it’s even more a necessitate that believers allow God to search their hearts, because ONLY then, will the wickedness of their heart be expelled and only then will He be able to lead them on the path of everlasting life (Psalm 139: 23-24), with eyes solely focused on Him (Matthew 6:22; Hebrews 12:2).
As brief as it was, my Super Bowl aftermath gave me a little insight into the married life: where as a wife may desire the attention of her husband, but because he’s too caught up in his interests (work, sports, etc.), he completely, unintentionally, ignores her, leaving her upset, and feeling unwanted and unimportant; however, it’s the husband that suffers the most, as he had possibly just missed an opportunity to receive something beneficial from his wife, or if anything, perhaps, just grow in their relationship—this, almost literally, is what happens when we set our attention and affection on something or someone other than God. Neglecting God, is never the move--because we’re the ones, who’ll suffer for it (READ THE Old Testament). While it may not be sports nor video games, do strive not to allow your pleasures or subtle passions to take any preeminence in your life. And #GetchaHeadOutTheGame
Peace.
[1] Check out Misty Edwards’ latest album, for the song Companion, which lyrics say, You are as close as conversation....You are as near as turned attention,