Sticks & Stones
As unique humans beings, we all receive and perceive love differently. Ideally, there are five ways we “receive” love from other people: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time and Physical Touch. My love language is words of affirmation (as well as quality time). But no really, I really admire and cherish people sharing their hearts about me, to me. To this day, I still have birthday and graduation cards that I read randomly to rehear people’s words of affection towards me. I’m that person who has a journal of recorded and documented prophesies.
Although receiving words of affirmation, is a way for me to experience God’s love through His people, they had started to become a snare in my walk as a believer. Words of affirmation are suppose to bring out the best in me, but instead they’ve revealed how ugly my heart really was.
I’m sure we’re all familiar with popular Christianese phrase “if you don’t live by the praise of man, you wouldn’t die by their criticisms.” I wish that was my case, but I was dying internally from the lack of affirmation. Weird, right? But the weird part was that I wasn’t looking for affirmation in the sense of people complimenting how amazing my outfit was, or how white my teeth were, or how beautiful I was. It was the lack of affirmation in ministry that was causing me to lose my grip on life and creating tension between the friends I served with and I.
A friend once said, “You can’t say you don’t deal with something anymore if the opportunity to do it hasn’t presented itself to test you.” Meaning that you could possibly still have something residing in your heart, but because there hasn’t been an incident to test you, that thing hasn’t had it chance to manifest itself in your outward actions. Capishe?
The opportunity to see the inner battles of my heart presented itself this past summer when I was asked to join my ministry's Discipleship leadership board as the administer director. I had been involved with the department for two years and was a by-product of the discipleship program, so I was honored and excited to continue serving, but also ecstatic that it was on a higher capacity. And the plus side was I was serving with some of my closest friends. But these weren’t just any friends. These were the people you called to lead bible study, or administer deliverance, or even for godly advice on everyday life situations. It is one thing to do life with people like this, but another to serve with them.
Now that the opportunity had presented itself, it was a matter of time before the heart issue manifested. So as I mentioned, I was the administrative director. With a distorted view, I found myself being frustrated because I was under the impression that my role was insignificant. I wasn’t leading the training calls and I wasn’t teaching, so I indirectly assumed I wasn’t an adequate teacher, which led to my childhood battle with speech insecurities to resurface. But mainly, I wasn’t being affirmed like the other leaders. All I seemed to be doing was sending emails. Because I had no one telling me the significance of my role, I began believing my role wasn’t significant. Because I failed to see the great need for it in the department, I didn't take full advantage of my role.
In December, a group of us were at IHOP-KC Onething Conference. It was during a worship set one night, when Misty Edward ministered “I Shall Not Want.” It was right there and then when God affirmed me. As Misty sang, I could feel God comfort me and also remove the insecurities I was dealing with. Even in the prophesy room, God spoke through two fatherly mannered men about things God delighted in me. Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom indeed. I was free, or so I thought. Remember the opportunity had to presents itself for me to be tested.
The opportunity presented itself once again. And it led to jealousy and offense towards people I really loved. After a week of the frustration, I called my personal prophet. He said one thing that put a halt to my inner battle: “Ask God what He has for Olamide. You need God to tell you what He sees in you.” *Boom* Shots fired. Who got hit? I was silent. My issue was I needed to hear that I was valuable and needed; but my solution wasn’t found in man, it was literally found in Christ.
My life verse is Colossians 3:3
"For you died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God.”
Well, my identity is hiding in Him as well.
“How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How great is the sum of them!”
Psalm 139:17 NKJV
While recently studying the Book of John, the Holy Spirit highlighted how Jesus really wasn’t seeking public recognition, but was secure in His identity, because He knew where it lied. Jesus proclaimed to be the Son of God, but yet many people didn’t believe Him. Including His family.
“‘For no one does anything in secret while he himself seeks to be known openly. If You do these things, show Yourself to the world.’ For even His brothers did not believe in Him.”
John 7:4-6
But that’s the thing. Man will affirm you for what they see in public. We affirm traits we see people display and attributes they personify in their demeanor.
But God...God is different. He affirms us on what we do in the secret place, what we do in the heart. He affirms what is concealed to the human eye, revealing our inward nature and calling us by that. With God, it's not a matter of doing, but of simply being.
“But the Lord said to Samuel, ‘Do not look at his appearance or at his physical stature, because I have refused him. For the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.’”
1st Samuel 16:17
“... and your Father who sees in secret will reward you openly.”
Matthew 6:18
Affirmation from man is temporary, but affirmation from God is eternal, for two keys reasons: 1. God is not a man that he should (or even could) lie and 2. God’s word doesn’t come back void, but fulfilled.
But God will affirm you at the appointed time, and before the right people.
"When He had been baptized, Jesus came up immediately from the water; and behold, the heavens were opened to Him, and He saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and alighting upon Him. And suddenly a voice came from heaven, saying, ‘This is My beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased.’”
Matthew 3:16-17
How we receive love shapes and forms how we perceive the relationships we have. Once I knew the state of my heart, I was able to be vulnerable with those around me. I began to confess to my friends the battles I was secretly dealing with. With full transparency, I shared how I felt and was able to receive my much needed healing, peace, and assurance.
”Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, so that you may be healed.”
James 5:16
“Moreover whom He predestined, these He also called; whom He called, these He also justified; and whom He justified, these He also glorified.”
Roman 8:30
Until the time, when God raises me up in His hands, I will be here dwelling in His Heart. There is no better feeling to know you are His and He is your’s.
![True Life: I didn't wake up like this [The story before the glory]](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/54a8ad21e4b0970e0f17e95e/1458530765987-MU6NSV2IF1WIBGDN75J5/The+Story%281%29.png)
True Life: I didn't wake up like this [The story before the glory]
I woke up ugly actually. Dried up saliva marks. Bad breath. Flesh. My hair bonnet missing. Eye boogers. Swollen eyes. Flesh. Irritated. Moody. Did I say flesh?
The Christian world promotes an idea of transparency, but we often fail to do so. We project a false sense of perfection, while knowing that the only thing perfect about us is God. I fall prey to this too.
Lauren DeMoss Benson once said: "The only reason why the Proverbs 31 woman can be previewed as ’perfect’ is because she is a product of the God who lives within her. The only thing that's perfect about her is Him. She doesn't place her hope in her husband, her family or her looks, but in God." I have absolutely no goodness on my own, anything good or perfect about me is truly from God and His goodness towards me.
“The LORD is good to all, and his mercy is over all that he has made.”
Psalm 145:9 (ESV)
People tend to perceive me as that “Christian girl” that always talks about Jesus. People most often identify me with adjectives and titles like “happy, joyful, kind, prayer warrior and woman of God,” but in this article, I would like to shed some light on “the story before the glory” and what the Lord takes me through in my walk with Him.
A lot of women in our generation desire the “glory” without the “story.” In other words, we want the end product without going through the process, but in this walk with Jesus, there are no shortcuts to glory. There is no product without a process.
“Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don’t try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.”
James 1:2-4 (MSG)
Let me elaborate in a more relatable way ladies; it's like long, bouncy, shiny & soft Brazilian hair. People admire and compliment it, not knowing that the vendor was terrible. It started tangling by the second week, the shedding amount was ridiculous and you did so much just to get to how it is now. Or for my team naturals, who felt like I just spoke in tongues, you know when you see a bomb twist out and you're like “wow that twist out is so defined and fluffy,” not realizing that the girl you're admiring bought a $12 curl wax and spent 2 hours of her previous night to get it like that. Honey, there is a story before the glory. Can I get an amen?
*waits for congregation to respond*
Before any woman of God can ever be deemed as admirable before the public, she has to go through a process. Here are three major stories that I’m sharing, based on my experience with the Lord and His Word. These are stories that I have to go through on a daily basis (process) before the “glory” that everyone on the outside gets to see (product). All of these stories require obedience in order to truly walk out this relationship with the Lord. Before we can be transformed into His image, we have to first let Him in, listen to what He says and respond with a “yes, Lord,” giving him permission to move in his fullness and it reveals that he is truly the Ruler (Lord) of our lives.
“Why do you call me ‘Lord, Lord,’ and not do what I tell you?
Luke 6:46 (ESV)
First Story: The story of Holiness
Before salvation, holiness was once a word that I wasn’t really familiar with. When I thought of holiness, I just imagined a halo above Mother Teresa. Holiness simply means “being set apart unto God.” It’s a war to live in this world as a young Christian female. I’m most often surrounded by a world that forces me to choose between itself and God when it comes to entertainment, fashion and conversations. I literally choose to neither respond to specific texts nor carry along with specific conversations, nor attend specific events because I know that it's not what the Lord has called me to do or be apart of.
The Lord makes us holy by His spirit; Jesus said that He was going to send us The “Holy” Spirit.
“But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you.”
John 14:26 (ESV)
In a world that’s full of “spirituals,” He could’ve just said He was going to send us his Spirit but He added “Holy” meaning His “set apart” Spirit--His Spirit that is not like any other spirit in this world. He sets us apart because He is already set apart.
It says in Philippians 2:13 “For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him.”
“As for us, we can’t help but thank God for you, dear brothers and sisters loved by the Lord. We are always thankful that God chose you to be among the first to experience salvation—a salvation that came through the Spirit who makes you holy and through your belief in the truth.”
2 Thessalonians 2:13 (NLT)
Before any sort of “glory,” you have to allow the Holy Spirit to set you apart from the world.
“So you must live as God’s obedient children. Don’t slip back into your old ways of living to satisfy your own desires. You didn’t know any better then. But now you must be holy in everything you do, just as God who chose you is holy. For the Scriptures say, “You must be holy because I am holy.”
1 Peter 1:13-16 (NLT)
Second Story: The story of Sanctification
Ouch that hurts!
Do you think my heart naturally wakes up everyday and says "Good morning , beautiful birds! Hi beautiful family that I love ever so much! Jesus is awesome! Let me post something encouraging on Instagram today!" Some people are naturally perky, but I'm definitely not. Don’t get me wrong, some days I do wake up happy, but this isn't la la land. Most times I wake up like, "who's this knocking on my door?! ugh I hate waking up early. oh my gosh, I can't believe I have to do that today. Why is my eyeliner still on my eyes. Oh my gosh, it's raining." I have to make decisions everyday to deny myself and carry my cross and follow the Lord Jesus Christ, because when I wake up, my flesh wakes up too. So what do I do? What do you do? KILL IT. How do you kill it? Live by the power of the Holy Spirit, and the weapon of the Spirit is the Word of God (Ephesians 6:17)
For if you live by its dictates, you will die. But if through the power of the Spirit you put to death the deeds of your sinful nature, you will live.
Romans 8:13 (NLT)
Sanctification is holiness in action and also working with God on our pursuit of holiness. When God sanctifies you, He goes through areas of your life that don’t look like Him and He molds them to reflect him. Here’s two out of a million examples; one would be as challenging as music. It was a big deal for me because it was painful to relinquish, but I gave it to God. Guess what? The Lord was sanctifying me to reflect Him and eventually I no longer desired to listen to those artists. The other can be as simple as waking up grumpy. As I read the word, the Lord began to renew my mind and show me that everyday is indeed a day that He has made, He is in control of everything and He is with me.
When you read His word and let the Lord in, that's when you will experience the power of God.
“May the God of peace himself sanctify you completely, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ”
1 Thessalonians 5:23 (ESV)
Third Story: The story of Surrendering
Despite how perfect my walk with the Lord may seem on social media or in fellowships, the Lord continuously reveals to me my heart, my rebellious ways and my tendencies to not desire to obey, forgive or rejoice in trials. Instead, sometimes I do want to be petty, respond in anger and irritation or text that boy the Lord told me NOT to. Sometimes I do want attention, sometimes I don’t want to lay my life down and sometimes I’m selfish.
Without Jesus and His grace, I might as well be the prodigal daughter every moment of the day.
Despite how perfect I may seem, the Lord reveals layers and layers of brokenness and hurts that I still carry. But do you know what separates me from who I was yesterday? Jesus. He doesn’t only show me how I’ve fallen short, but He shows me my identity and His love, strength and power. Jesus empowers me to walk in His righteousness. Jesus’ beauty transforms my rebellion to my surrender. I love Jesus so much, but it’s His love for me that draws my heart to surrender. He’s so good that even in my unrepentant state, He graces me to repent. Repentance simply means turning from sin and turning to God--but before you can do any turning, you have to first surrender. Surrendering is daily; the only way I can be deemed as “admirable” is because I’ve surrendered to the beauty and perfection of Jesus inside of me.
A life laid down is at risk of experiencing Jesus & his power.
“Then Jesus said to his disciples, "If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross, and follow me.”
Matthew 16:24 (NLT)
In Conclusion, as a young Christian female I am here to tell you that we haven’t arrived and as long as we're still on this earth, we never will arrive. In this walk with Jesus, there is always a story before the glory. Our glorious end product is to look like Christ. Allow him to take you through the process so you can have your own story and most confidently attain the end product, which is Jesus, your glory.
#BecomingHer Intro
When you were growing up, did you ever think about what it would be like to grow up? All the things you would experience? All the things you would accomplish? All the people you would encounter? What about being brought back to your true Father and experiencing a love that would never fail you?
When I was a girl, I never really thought about that, or about the idea of womanhood. I just knew I would grow up, but I never really knew what that would entail. Now that I’ve grown up and have been renewed in Christ, my biggest thought has been, “How I am growing in the woman that God has called me to be?”
This series, #BecomingHer, is more than just talking about the “ideals” of womanhood. It’s about shifting through our life experiences and learning from them as we become “her.” Her is not a standard made up by the world, or even Christian culture. Her is defined as whoever God has called you and purposed you to be, and thankfully that looks different for each of us.
We are all destined to walk in different paths, but each path includes walking in power, wholeness, grace, and a full understanding of His love for us. As His daughters, His greatest desire is that we would understand our identity in Him, and from that flourish into our purpose as daughters of the Kingdom.
As we launched this series, our desire was that we would just simply give you a glimpse into the lives of women who are in the process of #BecomingHer. As you walk with us on this journey, we want to hear your stories about how God is moving you into the talents, successes, purposes, and identity that He’s called you to.
Recognize your journey, and know that in this time, you are #BecomingHer.
The Pursuit: God’s Perspective
When we read Genesis, sometimes we forget how literal we’re supposed to take it. For example, in Genesis 1 verse 26 it says, “Let us make human beings in our image, make them reflecting our nature” ESV. We’ve read it a hundred times to the point where we’re desensitized to its message. We are made in the image of God, LITERALLY, not figuratively. You’re probably reading this and thinking, “We get it ma, get to the point.” It may take me a while to finally land, but follow me.
Okay, God made us after His likeness, and then we fell. Does that mean we stopped being the image of God? Well, not really, it actually means we forgot who we were. It’s like long-term amnesia. You're not acting like yourself because you lack true identity, So when you accept Jesus, you have this epiphany where you're reminded that you were made in God’s image and after His likeness. In 2nd Corinthians 3:18 Paul stated, “And all of us, as with unveiled face, continue to behold as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are constantly being transfigured into His very own image in ever increasing splendor and from one degree of glory to another.” The longer we’re saved, the more we begin to resemble God.
Alright, now that the foundation is down, we can get to the fun part. Being a woman created in His image is fun. When God created us in His image, there was no catch, and it was not a mistake. He purposefully created male and female. So the rest of this article is for women (guys, please keep reading. It’ll help you too). This is a series about women, and we were created after the image of God. But, what does that even mean? Do you recall a time in your life, where you were sitting, minding your business, until life came and gave you a wake-up call? Just last week you were doing #NoBoys2KForeva and you wake-up and your whole world is screaming #Boys2kForeverNdAlways please and thank you. Welp, that was a 180°. You were single and waiting, enjoying your singleness, and doing all the other single people phrases. So what happened? That deep yearning to be pursued starts to tug on your heartstrings. You’re stuck and you start recounting your mistakes and where you could have missed it. What if I told you, you didn’t sin, you didn’t backslide, and you're still single and content? That tug, and that yearn you feel is natural. It’s a reflection of God (remember we’re made in His image). God is all too familiar with that feeling. God felt that same feeling and even still feels it. God is neither male nor female, but our femininity and masculinity originates from God.
This helps in multiple ways, it teaches us how to manage that yearn, and it also helps us relate to God in a way unique to women.
You’re sitting in your room, in your #Boys2KForeva phase and you think to yourself, “all I’m asking for is a guy who is consistent and wants to be my bestie.“ Get this, God said the same thing. In Hosea 6:6 (MSG) He said, “I’m after love that lasts, not more religion. I want you to know God, not go to more prayer meetings.” God is doing #MyPeople2kForeva too, we can see the desire of His heart through this passage. Before Jesus came to die for us, those were dark and sad times. All God wanted was to be with us, but a lasting sacrifice had to be made in order for us to experience that same intimacy. All you want, is to be pursued and God can relate to that. All He wants is to be pursued and wanted. Seek God first. Pursue God the way you want to be pursued. We don’t get to pursue our husbands before courtship. We’re on the receiving end of the pursuit, but that feeling of wanting to be pursued might just be a feeling exclusive to femininity. You can give to God what you want to be given to you. Isn’t that exciting and fulfilling? When I discovered this, it opened up an intimacy with God that I never took advantage of. He’s more than just the “guy best friend” that we try to box Him into; He’s the best friend that we can relate with. The church of Ephesus committed one sin, “you have left (abandoned) the love that you had at first [you have deserted Me, your first love]” Revelations 2:4 AMP. The feeling in this verse is all too familiar. You’ve felt it, and now you know your God feels it too. Chase after God with everything you have, it’ll offer a fulfillment that can’t be compared.
Lastly, understand that God wants to be pursued the same way you want to be pursued, helps make “the wait,” a little easier. Think about it. When you’re in the depth of your #ILoveBoys phase, you can whisper to God and He can laugh with you. He can comfort you in the way only He knows how. Trust me. I’ve read articles, books, and listened to sermons, anything that would make the wait easier. Until I l finally gave in. You’ve learned most of it, and you even put a majority of it into practice. You can’t make the wait any shorter or any less bumpy, but you can find solace in The One who can. God had to wait, God is still waiting. You think you have to wait 2 years 3 months and 23 days, but imagine having to wait centuries to be rekindled to the one whom your heart desires. Pretty inconceivable, right? This is where the masculinity of God really comes in. He can offer strength and even soothe your yearning heart. As a woman, protection and stability is like a pot of gold. God said He is not a man that He should lie. If He said it, it will come to pass. What did God say about your wait? Did He give you a scripture? A date maybe? God is speaking to your current situation. Hear what He has to say about your wait and stand on it.
“Thy word have I hidden in my heart, that I might not sin against you”
Psalms 119:11
Lacking faith is weighty, a weight we can’t afford. Listen to what God is saying to you during your wait, hide it in your heart, and have faith towards it. “…And everything that does not come from faith is sin” Romans 14:23 NIV. In Luke 2:19 ESV it says that, “Mary treasured up all these things, pondering them in her heart.” Treasure the word God has given to you and use your time while “waiting” to ponder on them. His promise prepares you for what’s to come.
In essence, women were made after the likeness of God; we can pursue God the way we want to be pursued because we know how it feels. God makes our pursuit easier because we’re able to grab hold of His promises. When you feel that yearn of pursuit, change it from feeling like you messed up, and use it to remind yourself that you’re Godly and you're feeling the very heart of God. Don’t wait on boys; wait on men. Men that pray for you, men that hear from God on behalf of you. It’s worth it, so very worth it.
Prodigal Daughter
“And the Pharisees and scribes murmured, saying, This man receiveth sinners and eateth with them.” | Luke 15:2, KJV
I’m grateful that Jesus received and still receives me. I am grateful that Jesus encourages me to eat when I don’t feel like eating. In the past, when I read or listened to the story of the prodigal son, my impression was that it relayed the story of the unbeliever who had no idea that he/she is actually a member of God’s family. Since my excursion outside the bounds of the familial household, I have come to realize that “The Prodigal Son” story relates to believers who lose sight of their identity and inheritance while in the Father’s house.
I received Christ as my Lord and Savior toward the end of my senior year of high school. My heart’s desire changed from a self-centered point of view to a Christ-centered one: I really just loved people and I wanted the Lord to be pleased with my life. In my search to know Christ better, I began reading the Bible and likewise began to understand some things. As I read, I became increasingly aware of my shortcomings and prayed for transformation in those areas. Though uncomfortable, this tension was fruitful because my heart was set on loving Christ. However, the more I began to serve in Christian leadership, the more my shortcomings overwhelmed me. As a leader, I began to unknowingly mix my love for God with a self-serving attitude, including, but not limited to, performing “good” deeds begrudgingly (as a leader I felt I couldn’t say ‘no,’ so I performed good deeds because I thought it was expected of me, but love was the missing ingredient in my actions). Also lying beneath a considerable portion of my actions was a desire to be recognized by my peers. That, combined with habits that were more difficult for me to renew my mind from, left me feeling defeated and used while living as a Christian. I didn’t understand why my Christian life seemed so colored with defeat when I was supposed to have victory.
“How can you be a Christian and do this? How can you be a Christian and say that?” These would be the thoughts that unraveled in my mind about myself. I was also convinced that other people thought similarly of me when I confessed my shortcomings to them. Eventually, I stopped confessing. When people asked how my walk (with the Lord) was going, I simply adopted generic Christian responses to avoid getting too deep with people I didn’t trust. Likewise, confounding thoughts would consume me about my brothers and sisters in the body of Christ. How they could treat me a certain way and why they seemed to get away with things I felt I would be smited by God for, or shunned by man for, left me grappling with the thought, “is God good?” I didn’t think so. I was afraid of Him and my love was souring. I felt embittered toward God and man.
I couldn’t see. I couldn’t see Jesus or Father God rightly because of my deep-seated bitterness and fear—and that terrified me. As hard as I fought my feelings, the thoughts remained. I could not make myself see clearly. Before I became conscious of what was brewing in my heart, I heard the Lord tell me in worship to resign from all leadership positions in my Christian fellowships. I did not understand. The thought of me resigning from those positions made no sense to me. I thought that because I had intentional worship time and read my Bible twice a day, that my relationship with God was in good shape—that I was fine. However, I couldn’t shake that it was the Holy Spirit speaking to me. I left all but one fellowship because the fear of missing out (FOMO) was so strong in me. My FOMO almost kept me holding on to the things and people I needed to let go of in order to see and hear my Heavenly Father clearly.
It was now my senior year of college and I was no longer tethered to my leadership positions. I refused accountability because I felt abused by the people I had served with and wanted nothing to do with them or Christians in general. I downright ignored people’s text messages and phone calls. I did not want to be bothered living in a community of people who were constantly rubbing me the wrong way. “I was the victim and now I am free!” At least, that’s what I thought.
“And when he had spent all, there arose a mighty famine in that land; and he began to be in want.” | Luke 15:14, KJV
Really, I was in bondage. I couldn’t see my captivity because it was hidden from me in the guise of my victim mentality. During my final fall semester, I dabbled in my newfound “freedom.” I chose selfishness outright because it was time for me to focus on me and what I like to do. I was involved socially and finally doing better academically. My theme song for the year probably would have been “Can’t Tell Me Nothin,’” word to Kanye. Outwardly, I seemed to have moved on, but inwardly I was as stuck as I was before. My heart was aching, and life seemed so lackluster. Life, and living according to my own desires, did not taste as sweet and as fresh as I had imagined, but instead tasted bitter and stale. I knew God was the missing link, but I couldn’t figure out how to make the next move. I was stuck.
With the beginning of the spring semester, I was only beginning to see how deep the pit of despair had become. It was now apparent to me that I was on my last leg. I began making appearances at parties and drinking to forget my worries. Holy Spirit would gently say, “you don’t belong here,” and in response I would drink a little more to drown out His words. Every morning was a struggle to get out of bed, and every night was a struggle to fall asleep. Attacked with thoughts of deep sadness and anxiety, I just felt defeated, but had to keep on a straight face because—crazily enough—people were still coming to me for prayer and encouragement. I didn’t understand it and wanted to deter people from doing that because I was ashamed of how far I had visibly fallen. I think through those times God was affirming me, saying that I was still His child, despite me feeling orphaned.
“And when he came to himself, he said, How many hired servants of my father’s have bread enough and to spare, and I perish with hunger! I will arise and go to my father, and will say, Father, I have sinned against heaven and before thee. And am no longer worthy to be called thy son: make me as one of thy hired servants.” Luke 15: 17-19, KJV
It was time to graduate and get to work. After graduation I began working in New York City. In this new environment, I purposed in my heart not to forsake fellowship with my brothers and sisters. Attending church and small group regularly encouraged my own repentance and desire to be honest with the Lord. I was surrounded by people who loved me back into the arms of Jesus. In retrospect, the Father loved me back into the family. By December, I was floored by the miracle Christ had done within me. A year ago, I was angry with God and His people. I did not want to be around either. A year later, my heart sees God as who he says He is, “a good Father,” and my fellow believers as my brothers and sisters. Though my family is not perfect, it’s truly okay because: (a.) neither am I; and (b.) the places where they are both strong and weak will encourage my perfecting to be more like Jesus, which is the goal. It’s miraculous, but only God could have transformed my perspective the way He has. I firmly believe that for me, it had to happen this way. If not, I probably would have been too prideful to see that God is truly who He says He is, and that He alone gives the increase.
Truly, everyone’s relationship and process with God occurs differently. There is no use comparing or criticizing. I implore those who read this to pray for people you don’t understand, especially if they profess to be saved. Pray for them sincerely because they could very well be in grave need of compassion. For those in a dark place like I was, or enjoying worldly delights that leave you feeling exhausted and anxious, I pray that you will see Abba rightly. His love for you makes Him sensitive to your faint desire for Him, even when you are far from Him. Compassion motivates Him to run towards you, to embrace you with His tender-loving kindness and mercy, even if you strongly believe you don’t deserve it (Luke 15:20-24). It’s okay, His love is actually for the undeserving.
Forgive me, I forgot to introduce myself: Hi, my name is Katrina, and I am the prodigal son…or rather, the prodigal daughter.
A Testimony of His Grace
By: Samuel Akinribade
One of the best feelings in the world is when your hard work pays off. Think about it – remember when you practiced so many times to tie your shoe, and you finally got it? Or when you pulled an all-nighter to study for a test that you got an A on? Ahh, that feeling of achievement when hard work finally pays off. I wish I could link that feeling to the testimony of me graduating from college in three and half years. Actually, I do not wish that. My testimony of my college experience is one that could not have happened without the intervention of a good good Father. I was someone that went from graduating high school with a 2.3 grade point average to graduating college with honors. This cannot be easily mistaken for MY hard work. So, if you are expecting to hear the story of me working really hard until I finally got to see my hard work pay off, sorry, this is not the article to read. This is a documentation of what the Lord did for me. And oh, no I will not just sit here and over-spiritualize my testimony and say it was faith, faith, faith, but it also took corresponding action for me to see my goals become reality.
My passion to excel in academics was sparked in my junior year in high school. I remember it like it was yesterday –- year 2011. I had the strong desire to succeed in academics because I wanted to attend my dream university – University of Maryland. Yes, that was a dream of mine that was placed on hold because of the commodity of the academic world, that dreadful grade point average. By the time I was enlightened about the importance of getting a great GPA, it was a little too late to get the GPA I desperately wanted. So, I graduated high school with a low GPA and ended up attending a school that I never considered. Seeing the reaction of my parents, after telling them my decision to enroll at the magnificent UMES, I knew I had to devise a game plan. And yes, I love my UMES – Hawk PRIDE!!! Back to the story. My parents urged me to come up with a two year game plan which prioritized on me transferring to my dream school. I came up with the game plan and had it all figured out. I was well on my way to going to my dream school after all.
“Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails”
Psalm 19:21 NIV
I went into my first semester with great expectation and great confidence. I asked the Lord for two simple things: to graduate school early and to never fail/drop a class. A lot of people, to this, day ask me, “why were you in a rush to graduate?” My answer is simply this: I wanted to be in position for God to do something monumental in my life. I did not want to rush the process of school, nor was it because I did not like UMES and wanted to leave as soon as possible, but I had the intentions of graduating early and the Lord answered the desire of my heart. The summer before my actual official semester on the UMES campus, I received some bad advice from my academic advisor. The advice was so bad, it almost caused me to fail a class that I did not need. Praise be to God, I did not fail. Everything worked out for my good. But, man oh man, did I learn a valuable lesson. Even if you get promising advice from somebody, always remember to commit the plan back to God. From there on, I followed my degree audit and continued to press on.
With a 3.5 GPA, after my first year of college, I applied to the honors program and got admitted. Not only was I an honor student, but I was a student that was going to school for free. Yes indeed, they gave me a scholarship. I was very excited for that academic year. Everything was going well, good grades and free schooling, what could beat that? To get a well-paid internship was next on my bucket list. Although I got opportunities to interview at a couple of governmental agencies for accounting, I was turned down by every single one because of my age. Sucks to be young, right? The only internship that considered me, actually denied me because of issues concerning distance. That situation ignited my passion to apply to UMD. I applied and guess what? I got in. Man, was I excited to know I would be in a university where my friends are and I’d be able to work towards my career. After a series of unfortunate events, I was not able to attend UMD. I went back to UMES with great sorrow. Not because of the school, but because I was limited to a school that was 2 hours away.
But the Lord encouraged me through dreams and through people. He wanted to answer my prayer of graduating early and never failing a class. On going back to UMES, I met the manifested plans of the Lord. Things and doors began to open up for me; I got offered an internship from a government agency, I met a campus organization called Bethel Campus Fellowship, where I became a leader, taking my walk to a whole different level, and I was in great shape of graduating early. And I still had my scholarship from the honors program. “It ain’t so bad.” *Rocky Balboa's voice*
“Lord, You are my portion and my cup of blessing; You hold my future. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance.”
Psalm 19:5-6 HCSB
Prior to my senior year, I thought the blessing of God was so great. Little did I know, that was the beginning of more blessings. Fast-forward to my senior year. The Lord favored me in ways and opportunities I couldn’t even imagine. At this point, the Lord gave me a great internship position with the federal government. I was also nominated to participate in a university sales competition. I did not desire to partake in this competition but wanted to honor the director of career services, so I did and God gave me the grace to win. The winner was offered a chance to land a position with a fortune 500 company. God opened opportunities for me to get a full time position at different places. The Lord gave me options. Not only that! The Lord has given me the opportunity to matriculate at the school that I dreamed to attend. Glory to Jesus!! I am in total awe of what God is able to do. I never feared because I knew God was at my right hand. My senior year was a year of rest. God made academics easy for me, He did that so I could focus on doing His will on campus. I am here to declare to you that God is surely able to do that which He said He will do. Because of the promise He has given me through that Psalm, I was able to find the encouragement to keep responding to the faith He has placed inside of me.
“I know that whatever God does, it endures forever; nothing can be added to it nor can anything be taken from it, for God does it so that men will fear and worship Him [with awe-filled reverence, knowing that He is God].”
Ecclesiastes 3:14 AMP
My college experience is summed up into this very verse. God did a thing in my life and in that, no plan of mine nor of my parents, was able to contribute or negate the perfect plan that my Heavenly Father had planned for me. Looking back at all of this gave me a deeper reverence for the Lord. Through my experience I came to learn three things about God: 1) God is more than able to do that which we ask of Him, 2) Despite the situations and hardship that occur, God is a God that keeps to His word, and lastly, 3) if you commit yourself and your plans unto the Lord and trust Him with your whole heart, He will do exceedingly and abundantly more than you could ever plan because He is our hope of Glory. I encourage you to truly commit your plans unto the Lord and stand on the word that He shared or will share with you and just BELIEVE…
Samuel Akinribade is a recent graduate of University of Maryland, Eastern Shore with a Bachelors of Arts in Accounting. In his free time, Sam enjoys playing the guitar and experiencing life with his friends.
The MISFIT: A Charge to (NOT) Fit
“So Father, I thank You and bless You. You are sovereign Lord, and Your precepts, decrees, and Word never change nor fail. You are constant, and You desire for our consistency. I thank You for being so loving, and so forgiving. Right now, Lord I repent for myself and all my brothers and sisters over the world: I repent on the basis of compromise; for greatly this generation of Your children, we’ve been very slack. We’ve accepted many laws; we’ve accepted many decrees; we’ve accepted foolishness; we’ve accepted statements made by our unbelieving counterparts that have become realities to us. God, we’ve claimed Your name and calling, yet have shamed Your Word, through our actions and acceptance of actions of unbelievers. You desire truth and mercy in the secret place, yet it’s often only when we repent for ourselves to You, do we present truth and mercy. God teach us to be like You. Teach us not to withhold truth and mercy. Teach us how to truly follow Your Word, and be like You Christ Jesus. Amen.”
I’m hoping you meant that ‘amen.’ If not now, then I hope by the end of this letter you would. I’m sure you caught the message for this piece already from that prayer and title, but if not, this is clearly and simply about not fitting in—and being very okay with not fitting in.
I’ve told my testimony a number of times, actually, not as much as I probably should though (you can find it in our archives). The thing with my testimony, and who I’ve come to be is: I’ve never actually fit in. I think throughout my pre-college career, I’ve touched with about every social group (cue ‘Stick to the Status Quo’): the ‘nerds,’ the ‘jocks,’ the ‘popular,’ the ‘Africans,’ etc. But I’ve never really found my niche with them. It was because I was not crafted to fit in. From my formation in my mother’s womb, I was created to be a misfit.
“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations.”
Jeremiah 1:5
Consecrate(d) [v]: to make or declare sacred; set apart or dedicate to the service of a deity.
The thing with Bible verses, if anyone is in doubt the validity of their relevance today, is that God’s Word remains the same; it remains available; and it remains effective forever.[1] Psalm 33:9 says, “For He spoke, and it came to be; He commanded, and it stood firm.” So God’s Word remains, and is effective for us today. I believe that, if it’s in the Word, no matter to whom it’s directed at, or for, it has relevance to us as individuals, as a group, and as the entire body, today.
We were made and created to be consecrated. In my interpretation, we were made to be misfits. This requires of us a number of things; might even require a lot of ‘no’s’ for us, but in contrast the innumerable amount of ‘yes’s’ outweigh those ‘no’s.’ In fact, the ‘yes’s’ are so much greater in opposition to the ‘no’s’ that if we observe one ‘yes’ to its opposing ‘no,’ we’ll see that for whoever chooses to do that ‘no,’ WILL SUFFER opposed to the WILL REJOICE that comes with choosing that ‘yes.’
Here’s an example: say you’re faced with the ‘yes’ of attending a night of evangelism or attending a friend’s birthday celebration (which is likely to dabble in ungodliness, a clear ‘no’); you being a believer, can actually probably attend either one, refrain from doing any ungodliness, if you attend the party, and that’d be it.
However, you being a believer with the call to lead others to Christ (that’s not optional, but mandated)[2] are much better off going evangelizing, simply because your focus is leading others to Jesus. While, it’s very possible you can lead the party attendees to Christ, that’s likely not central in your mind frame, nor anyone else’s there.
It’s also very possible that you being at the party positions you into ungodliness, clearly more so than evangelizing, where people knowing of your choice to follow God, can begin questioning whom your loyalty relies on: Jesus or friends. (And trust me, everyone wants to be loyal to their friends, and wants reciprocated loyalty…even JESUS!) These person(s) might begin to wager salvation as a matter that still condones ungodly living, regardless of you not partaking in ungodly actions.
I mean, going evangelizing, can have its negatives as well, right? You might not win a single soul for Christ; you might get cursed out; worst of all, you might even die. But you’ll be straight because you did your job and didn’t assume a position of compromise and for this, God is proud of you. And you’re now due for some type of reward, according to His Word [3] (we did just accept and establish His Word is true, right?).
Shoot, we’re often even given a third option, and that’s to do nothing. This last option tends to favour one of the previous options, in that it requires for the time spent doing the “yes” or “no” to be occupied with something else. And we all know, “what a man reaps, so he sows” (Galatians 6:7).
The point of that example, hopefully I was clear enough, is that the “yes” benefits will always outweigh the “no” benefits, if there are any. What made it a “no” in the first place was the fact that it conflicted with God’s word that says “what fellowship has light to do with darkness” (2 Corinthians 6:14).
The following verse says, “or what portion does a believer share with an unbeliever?” If not examined properly, the verse might seem a little hypocritical. I mean, how can we evangelize to unbelievers, if we’re not around them? Easy, be around them; just don’t accustom yourself to their ways, and their doings. [4] Be set apart. Don’t fit in. Be a MISFIT.
We can save a dying world by being in it, but not doing what it does. We can save our country by being in it, serving in it, but not doing it the way of our fellow countrymen. We can save our schools by being in them, excelling in them, serving in them, but not doing it the way of our peers. We can enjoy ourselves and have the time of our lives by not doing what everyone else does, but doing what we do, with all creativity, inspiration, and grace given to us from God, as to the Lord and not to man.
While recently at IHOP-KC OneThing 2015, in passing, I heard a worship leader say something along the lines of, “We want the world to be sampling and using our songs, not the other way around.” And I couldn’t agree with the individual more. It might even sound cliché, but there’s an abundance of truth there.
All over the Bible, we are charged with being set apart, being different, and having those who’re in the world look unto us and then get directed to the Father, through Jesus Christ, by the Holy Spirit.
We see this when Job is highlighted as a perfect man, one blameless and upright, who feared God and turned away from evil[5]; when God gives the Israelites, through Moses, the 10 commandments and all those laws in Leviticus to remain set apart from the Canaanites[6]; and we see this when God thoroughly urges and instruct us to “let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in Heaven; Keep your conduct among the unbelievers honorable, so that…they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day of visitation” (Matthew 5:16; 1 Peter 2:12)
There’s an evident call to be different, and be different so others may see it, and eventually turn to the Lord because of your difference. Once again, we walk this Christian walk not just for ourselves, but for others to also come to know Jesus. If that’s not what you’re about, my brother, my sister, please evaluate yourself. If your mindset is not about living your life out as an example of Christ while following Christ's’ example, my friend, this Christianity thing you’re doing, isn’t really it.
My simple definition of Christianity is “following Christ.” The disciples were first called Christians in Antioch [7] for simply “following Christ.” Following Christ obviously isn’t just a matter of saying, “Oh, I follow Christ,” but actually doing it—that looks like being a disciple.
And that, I earnestly and prayerfully believe, according to the Word, requires us to deny ourselves, pick up our cross, and truly follow Jesus [8]. We are also required to deny ungodliness, flee from any appearance of evil, do that which is good in the Lord's sight, walk wisely, and do it all for the glory of the Lord [9].
Doing an ounce of any this will indefinitely require us to say “NO” to so many things, such as particular outings, some meetings, specific type of shows, songs, and even dances, maybe even some manners of dressing, and most significantly, some pleasures [10]. But the rewards of that resounding “YES” that raises from declaring these “NO’s,” I assure you, on account of the Word, are far too glorious and too fulfilling for our minds to grasp.
So, I urge you, I earnestly urge you and myself: Let’s please agree with an ‘AMEN’, that at the very dawn of this year, and for the rest of our lives preceding eternity, to say “NO” to these things that akin to ungodliness, or can even hint to any sense of unrighteousness; but in return, let’s develop the eager habit of saying “YES” to every promise, whether conditional or unconditional that God has in store for His children. I’m positive that by His grace and lovingkindness we won’t regret it [11]. Yes, be a MISFIT! Please do. It’ll benefit you, those around you, and the world so much that you are.
But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light.
1 Peter 2:9
Shout out to the guys at Social Club for truly carrying and living out this Misfit lifestyle. Also, here’s a shout out to three sisters for allowing me to experience the joy of being a misfit; you know yourselves’.
With love and a glorious Amen,
Jum the Beloved (1:5)
(Note: Under this are footnotes to all the verses I alluded to, please check them out and hold me accountable.)
[1] Hebrews 4:12; Psalm 33:4-9
[2] Matthew 28:19
[3]1 Corinthians 3:7-8; Luke 10:3-11
[4] Romans 12:2
[5] Job 1:1
[6] Exodus 20; Leviticus
[7] Acts 11:26
[8] Matthew 16:24
[9] Titus 2:11, 1 Thessalonians 5:22, Deuteronomy 6:18, Ephesians 5:15, 1 Corinthians 10:31
[10] Isaiah 58:11
[11] Romans 8:18
The True Meaning of Love: The Greatest Gift of All
Sometimes we look for the source of love in places where it does not exist. Sometimes we don’t even realize that love is what we are searching for. The world’s view of love is measured conditionally by what the world can do for us. If it brings pleasure, it’s considered love. If it brings success, it’s considered love. If it brings happiness, it’s considered love. But what about the bad times? What happens when those things that once pleasured us or brought us success and happiness begin to bring us pain? Would we still consider it love?
One of the most contradictory statements I hear is “love is pain,” but that’s not true. We will go through pain, but it’s our circumstances that bring pain. The world brings pain. The devil surely brings pain. In reality, Love brings everything but pain and sorrow. Love should not make us fear (1 John 4:18). Love heals pain when life destroys the characteristics of love as seen in 1 Corinthians 13; our patience, our kindness toward each other, etc.
“There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love.”
1 John 4:18
So then, what is love? The only absolute definition I can think of is 1 John 4:8 “…God is love.” Love is knowing God and keeping His commandments. Love is a supernatural powerful and eternal mindset that can literally change the way we see and respond to things if we get it from the proper source—God. Love is a choice that we each individually need to make every moment of our lives in order to correctly confront the issues we face.
Why do we need love, the real kind? The two greatest commandments of all require us to love God and then to love our neighbors as ourselves (Mark 12:30-31). The only way we can love God is if we have a relationship with Him. The only way we can love our neighbors as ourselves is if we 1) actually love ourselves and 2) have a relationship with God to know what love is, because again, He is love. Love teaches us how to live the way God intended us to live. As the Son of the One who created love, Jesus embodied love when He chose to do His Father’s will. He showed His love for the Father by submitting and being obedient, even when He knew how much physical pain it would cause him.
The love of God bridges the gap of sin that separates us from the Creator. Without His love, we would have no sense of conviction, no understanding of the purpose of the Cross, and no real relationship with God. We would continue to toil to do good and follow the commandments the best way we know how, yet still fall short. That is not needed, because God’s love covers a multitude of sins. God’s love gives us a desire to please Him and be pleased with how He originally created us. Love is the best gift God can ever give us because of everything that He includes with it!
Love is more than just an emotion, it’s a virtue. Real love is not temporary and it’s not conditional. God’s love is bigger than us. His love does not always make sense. His love does not just disappear when we abandon Him or when we blame Him for what the devil has done in our lives. His character cannot be questioned because He is the same today, yesterday, and forever. Because of this, His love cannot increase or decrease based on what we do, it’s not performance based. All we have to do is know the real love that comes from Him. In life, we will face moments of pain, confusion, hurt, and many other emotions. Jesus went through pain in order to complete His will, but the love He had for the Father kept Him until the very end. Running to our temporary pleasures will only satisfy us for so long but the true source of love, which is God, keeps us until the very end.
I Didn’t Really Get Straight As: How God Changed my Grades
By: Winnie Monu
Permit me to debunk the preconceived notion of that title by stating, yes, I did in fact obtain Straight As – and only by the grace of God.
2015 was not the easiest year for me. March was the “beginning of the end,” as I used to call it, as that was the month everything that was “perfect” in my life was pulled from right underneath my feet. It was one of my darkest moments, as I dealt with who I was, thus being catapulted into God's presence desperate for Him to fix it.
What is it?
Everything.
A broken relationship, freedom from past pain, fear of the future and oh of course, the present – my grades.
So, on March 22, I had enough. After having quiet time with God, I became mad. I know. That’s an oxymoron. A paradox. God is the peaceful safe haven we run to. We give our yoke for His (Matthew 11:28-29). We’re supposed to come to Him upset and leave happy. Well, I came broken and left a soldier. Ever heard of Holy Anger? I had some and I was ready for war. I was sick of crying, and asking God, why me? And the only way I knew how to fight was through prayer.
During my quiet time, I reminded God of every story, I could think of, in the bible of where He had moved in the impossible – Gideon (Judges 6), Daniel’s prayer (Daniel 9:3), Joshua (Joshua 1:9), and Isaiah (Isaiah 45:2)– I ended my winded rant with God and said,
“If You can do it for them, You can do it for me. You promised me that You don’t lie. The moment that happens I’m closing my bible and turning away from Christianity. So fix this.”
Yes, I had an audacious Olivia Pope moment, but God handled things far better than an over-hyped fictional character ever could. And yes, grace is very sufficient as God allowed me to remain alive after speaking to Him with such fervor and tenacity. I plead with you to not use this as an opportunity to speak to God anyhow!
But I did not care. God does say, “Come boldly before my throne;present your case to me and let us reason” (Hebrews 4:16, Isaiah 41:21)And I did. I proceeded to write down everything on my heart that I knew I needed for God to move in. And, unashamedly, the very first point I wrote was “Straight A’s in my academics.”
As a then junior, I knew what my anticipated post-graduation plans were, but my grades didn’t match those dreams. For someone as myself who effortlessly glided through High School with Straight A’s all 4 years, I never saw anything less than a 4.0 on my report card.
For those who know what it means to attend a public Ivy League or a commonly known institute, such as University of Maryland, College Park, you know why we attribute that informal prestige to ourselves. University of Maryland is where many high school scholars, like myself, are humbled within their first semesters as a student. It was in 2012, the year I matriculated to college, that the universities board decided to up the antsy and implement the plus/minus system. What possessed them to do such, till today we Terps may never know. But it happened, and I joined everyone else and studied the way I knew how.
But that was the problem. I didn’t know how to study. So I assumed no physical homework meant one of two things: I chose a great major that had little to no homework or I had more time for sleep. The combination of the two soon resulted in a stark, harsh reality leading to failure, as my first semester grades became the combination of the first three letters of the alphabet. I soon learned the truth behind, “There’s always something to do for a class even if you have no homework – read ahead.”
Backtrack to March 22, 2015: I knew enough was enough. After writing down a few things that I was trusting God for, I put the pen down and got to work. Unfortunately, after that semester I did not get Straight A's, but I did proudly make Dean’s List with a 3.67 gpa.
After I had cleaned my room of all textbooks, I found the same list that I had written earlier in the semester. I quickly skimmed the list and laughed at the eight audacious requests I wrote to God and said, “Well God, maybe it is impossible to get Straight A’s at University of Maryland.” And I put the paper back down.
Some months later, the movie that many Christians, like myself, rushed to watch in anticipation – War Room – stirred a new fire in me. After seeing it with a girlfriend of mine, I went home and heard the Holy Spirit say, “revisit that list you wrote, keep it in plain view, and watch Me move. My timing is not your timing.” So I did. I thumb tacked my list to the wall in my closet and used that as my reminder.
Fall semester began and proved to be one of the hardest semesters of my life, as I believe I was spiritually attacked at so many strategic times. These attacks always seemed to happen right before an exam. There were days, I would be studying and I would be presented with some bad news that shifted my whole mood right before an exam.
Surprisingly, this was also the semester I decided to do more – in everything. For the first time, I led a women’s connect group, remained a research assistant, held office as President of the School of Public Health Dean’s Committee, worked as an resident assistant, all while challenging my sanity to take an 18 credit course load.
Through the hype of all my obligations, I found myself doing the opposite of my responsibilities. There were days I would watch John Gray messages on YouTube rather than write a paper. Nights before an exam, I would prefer to journal in my quiet time and eventually fall asleep! It just seemed like I wanted to do everything else, but schoolwork.
Those who know me closely know I have a very unorthodox way of studying. Please don’t copy me.
Finals came and my confidence level to easily pass one of my classes, Family Law, exam was quickly plateaued once I finished the exam. I left knowing I didn’t do so well. I didn’t study. I relied on my own ability to just wing it and possibly end with an A in the class, but I was greatly mistaken. I indeed failed. I got a 16/33 –( for those who tried to reach for a calculator, it’s a 48%).I had never scored anything that low in my life. I couldn’t even cry; I was numb. My 96% in that class dropped to an 85.3%.
As soon as I was about to accept my grade for what it was, God gently said, “study as hard for every other exam and make this your only B. And after, ask for what you want.” So I did. I put the laziness behind and studied for every other exam as if my life depended on it.
After the first set of exams, I kept feeling edgy, and God repeated the latter part of what he said to me, “Ask for what you want.” I challenged God and said, ‘how? It’s impossible. Final exams are final and my grade is a B, there’s nothing she’s going to do, my professor is a Lawyer! If I email her with anything, she’ll shut me down because lawyers know email threads could get them in trouble.
But God gently reminded me,
“I have already gone ahead of you, ask for what you want.
So I boldly did. I asked myself,“what’s the most she could do? Say ‘no.” I initially requested if I could see my exam grade (hoping that if I stared at it long enough and acted dumbfounded, she would mysteriously do something in my favor) and second, if it was possible to re-do my final exam. Crazy, I know.
She declined the latter. But God! God used my work ethic in her class throughout the semester as leverage. He went above and beyond,reminding her of how well I had done throughout the semester and by His grace, she went ahead and changed my grade to an A-!
I honestly believe that had I not been humbled by this exam grade and listened to the first part of God’s instruction to “study as hard for every other exam and make this [my] only B,” I would have taken my other classes for granted and not studied hard enough.
At the end of finals, I look at my grades and I thank God for achieving straight A’s, but those who know me know I like to push myself and I wasn’t too satisfied. My straight A’s was not a 4.0 as the plus/minus system, for lack of better words, doesn’t let us be great.
But as I was thanking God for my grades and reflecting back, He whispered, “you did not ask me for a 4.0, you asked me for Straight A’s.” Wow!! I started laughing with God because he was so right! My God is a God of humor.
I’ve discovered these lessons through my journey in 2015:
1. In the words of the recent SnapChat sensation, DJ Khaled, “the key to success”…is God.
2. The power of being Specific. I look at my grades and I thank God I did in fact get Straight A’s, but my straight A’s was not a 4.0. Be specific in everything that you ask God for.
3. There is treasure in your darkest moments.
4. Be authentic with God. He already knows what’s on your heart might as well just say it – and write it down!
5. God is still in the business of doing the impossible.
I encourage you, as we begin 2016, to write down everything you are holding onto God for and watch him move.
And at the end may you say, for this reason, _____________________ I put God first.
Winnie Monu attends University of Maryland, College Park, as a Bio-chem & Family Science major. Her hobbies when she's not focused on her new business, TruthbTold, she's exploring new places.
ZONETTA
“If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed.”
John 8:36
Let no other name, but the name of The Lord, alone, be praised, and given the glory!
I don’t know why, but I just been feeling pushed to share this testimony any chance I can get. My name is Zonetta, but I go by Zo and proudly would love to scream that Christ has freed me from 11 years of pornography addiction. 11 years?! Yes my friend, you heard correctly, 11 years. It started in the third grade and glory be to God officially ended at the beginning of my sophomore year of college.
As a child, I was always very curious and eager to learn about new things and it just so happens that there was this sex book in my house that I found one day and I thought the things in the book to be interesting. If that wasn’t bad enough, I also one day saw a DVD in the living room and I popped it in. To my surprise, let’s just say it looked interesting.
As I grew up, I found out more and my interest soon progressed from the little black porn book to late night television porn. You know late nights on HBO, there are always very raunchy uncut movies. With the movie package we had, they were made available to me and I tried to watch them every chance I could get.
Then, when I was in the sixth grade, I started actively watching Pornography DVDs and looking at pornographic magazines, which were easily accessible being again they were in my house. As we got a computer and I learned the ropes of it I discovered Anime video game porn, but soon that faded and I upgraded to X sites, but still around this time my primary source of Entertainment was Porn DVDs and late night movies. My mind was so polluted!
When I entered into the 8th grade, I got saved but still struggled with watching pornography. I was not actively watching porn everyday but would fall like 1-2 times in a month, or every two months. I felt so displeasing to God and always condemned when I fell, and like the Good Father He is, when I fell He would always calls me back with loving-Kindness, but I would be too ashamed to answer. Instead I would rebel in my shame. I always felt like I was the only one who was struggling with pornography so I kept it to myself, and I believed that God would deliver me. When I was in the 10-11th grade and for almost a year I was free and flourishing, but then I fell one day. By this time I was only falling once a year or so, but my struggle finally ended in 2013. I remembered the last time I watched Porn; God gave me the strength to overcome my flesh and say No for good. My deliverance would have been much sooner if I would have only listen to the still quiet voice trying to pull me out instead of listening to the enemy's voice of lies and rebelling in shame. Glory be unto God because I'm free and I am never going back, I have tasted and seen that the Lord is Good and only in Him can all my needs be fulfilled!
What really helps is reading your word, and staying in the presence of God and having that intimacy with God; strengthen your Spirit man! Please if you hear His voice, do not harden your heart, yield to his voice, the Lord desires to fulfill the great plans He has in your life for you! I also advise you to know your identity in Christ and know that you are victorious because of what He did for us on Calvary! The devil will try to get you to think that you’re the only one who is going through this but indeed he is a liar and the father of all lies and you can definitely do all things through Christ who strengthens you and you are more than a conqueror in Christ Jesus. Get plugged in with genuine believers who can help you through this struggle. One important thing I learned through this is how important discipleship is, especially to the new convert. Having a mentor would have been very beneficial to help me in my walk with Christ. Know that in Christ alone is your fulfillment and abundant life.